By Heart
by you-me-mars
Summary: It's the things we know by heart that matter the most. And what Farkle and Riley know by heart is that it was always going to be them against the world. A collection of unrelated one-shots all centered around Riarkle
1. Turtlenecks

**Summary: Three times that Riley wears Farkle's orange turtleneck**

The first time he sees her wear it, he was being bullied.

He had been stripped of his self-esteem, forced into feeling ashamed and made to hide from his favorite classes and people. The day after the first note of hatred arrived at his door, he had thrown almost all of the turtlenecks away. The orange one he kept, he didn't know why at the time, but he kept it because it felt like it was right. Like it was meant to be. So he stuffed the other turtlenecks into a box, closed it and then stuffed it in the back of his closet.

When he goes to school he feels naked. He's not literally naked, of course, but he feels as if he is because there's no fabric around his neck. There's no comfort of bright colors around his torso and there isn't any room for him to be himself. In a way, he feels worse not being himself than when he was told how bad being himself was. He admits, he misses the turtlenecks.

Going home was rough as well. He loved the turtleneck because there wasn't any reason to spend extra money on scarfs. The transition from winter to spring had never been described as easy in his book, and without a scarf or turtleneck, he worries about frostbite.

It's a completely irrational thing to worry about, he tells himself. Unless he's submerging his head under snow from an unreasonable amount of time than there is no good explanation for his small anxiety about frostbite. He hasn't even been outside for three minutes. Definitely not enough time to get frostbite on his neck of all places.

He should've left sooner (he'll tell himself later when this is all over that it was a good thing he had left when he did).

"Farkle!" a voice calls.

He knows that voice so well. He knows it like he knows the sound of sirens in New York or the sound of car horns during a traffic jam. The airy tone, the excitement that never seems to leave the voice, it's Riley. He knows it without even turning around. And he debates not turning around in the first place. But he can't let her down, never can. So he turns around and meets her brown, doe eyes and musters up the realest, fake-smile he can give. From the look in her eyes, she doesn't even buy it for a second.

When he scans her body he can feel the unnecessary jealousy creep in. She's all bundled up in her nice coat and scarf and boots. And in his rush to find something to wear that didn't include turtlenecks that morning, he barely had a coat, but there she is, the embodiment of perfect. All clad in her thick peacoat that she had found on a whim at a thrift shop in Greenwich Village and knit scarf that he is almost certain she knitted.

It's involuntary, but he shivers while he waits for her to finally catch up with him. The frown on her face that had appeared there when he offered up his fake smile, grows into a frown and furrowed brow when she sees him shiver. He immediately regrets letting the shiver be noticeable.

She reaches him and narrows her eyes as she pulls her coat tighter around herself. "You weren't in class." He's almost about to speak when she beats him to it. "'You weren't in _any_ class actually. And you're in all of my classes."

There's a silent question tagged onto the end of her words. One that is demanding for his explanation. He ignores it and risks shrugging. Riley may be sweet but she doesn't like vague answers, and Farkle knows this perfectly well.

He shivers again and without hesitation Riley takes her scarf off her bundled neck and moves forward to wrap it around his. The tip of her boots are less than an inch away from his worn-out sneakers and she's just a little bit taller than him but he doesn't mind. She stretches it out beforehand, giving each end of the scarf a little tug before folding it in half to find the middle and draping it around the back of his neck.

He's about to say that he can do it himself, fueled by the words he received yesterday about not being useful and being babied, but he can't bring himself to do so, not with Riley, never with Riley. So he lets her wrap the scarf around his neck, her cold fingers ever so slightly grazing his bare neck when she's not careful enough. He's not sure how she's done it but it is perfectly wrapped so that his neck is fully covered.

He braces himself for the question that is yet to come.

"Where's your turtleneck?" she asks, her voice is incredibly quiet and he can barely hear her after she took a step back, but he's been anticipating the question so the answer comes easily.

"I've decided that I don't like them," he shrugs in response. Her brows knit together again and he wonders how her face doesn't end up stuck like that.

"But why?"

Her voice is laced with something that he assumes is sadness but it's gone and masked by curiosity and he can't hold onto the tone before focusing on how to answer, which is with a shrug.

Before she can speak, she hears Maya call out her name and he realizes that she has to leave now and walk home with Maya. He also realizes he doesn't want her to go, he doesn't tell her that though. Why would he?

Maya's approaching them now, her plaid jacket barely clinging to her as she bounds her way down the stairs and towards them. He notices Riley taking another step away but he tells himself that he shouldn't care. Like Billy said, no one should.

They're talking but he doesn't really hear it, too focused on other things to really understand the words they speak. But suddenly Maya's demanding that they should go home and Riley, the people pleaser she is, agrees.

Maya has already walked past Farkle with a 'goodbye' but Riley has stayed in her spot, staring at Farkle, analyzing his actions.

"What?" he asks. It comes out slightly harsher than he meant it to and he sees her flinch a bit for which he already feels sorry for.

She bites her lip, he's worried that it might be too hard and that her lip will split open but she stops before he can warn her to lighten up. "It's just that-" her voice cuts off for a moment and she presses her lips together. He knows she wants to say something important but then she shakes her head so it's almost unnoticeable and continues on, "It's just that, I like your turtlenecks. The orange one brings out your eyes."

He's absolutely sure they're both staring right now but he honestly doesn't care and if they weren't in front of the school and if she didn't have a huge crush on his best friend and if he didn't have his self-esteem ripped into shreds, then maybe he would've kissed her. But probably not.

She mutters a goodbye and blushes before running up to join Maya.

It's after she leaves that he realizes he still is wearing her scarf.

Despite Riley and all, he doesn't go back to class the next day. He has a webcam that attends for him and he hides out with Janitor Harley because at least he lets him take color-coded notes in peace.

He doesn't expect her or any of them to come barging in demanding who said those things. He doesn't feel better when Riley hugs him and he doesn't feel better when Maya tries to go beat up whoever hurt him (though he does appreciate the gesture).

It's after all of it that he feels better.

oOo

The four of them are getting ready for the awards night. They're all at his house and he's pulling down the box of turtlenecks and Maya and Lucas are cheering and blowing party blowers, but Riley is sitting on his bed, doing homework and smiling all while it's happening. He glances over at her multiple times but she's color-coding her notes and is so focused on reading that she doesn't notice.

"We should wear your turtlenecks," Lucas suggests and everyone agrees, even Maya.

He passes them out, mostly dumping the box and then letting Lucas and Maya choose. Riley has closed her books and is just watching them as Lucas and Maya fight over who wants what color so before Farkle can let them fully decided he grabs the orange one.

He jumps on the bed so that he's sitting on Riley's right side and when she looks at him he hands her the orange turtleneck and smirks. She rolls her eyes but says thank you and slips it on over her shirt. He smiles dumbly, the sight of Riley in a bright orange turtleneck just makes him do that. And she goofily poses before almost falling off the bed from their laughter.

They're both gasping for air, their sides hurting from laughing so much but when she falls off the bed he's quick to grab onto her waist and pull her back up. She has to admit, she didn't exactly expect him to be strong enough and quick enough to both catch her and pull her back up but she isn't exactly not liking it so there's that.

When she's gained her balance and the both of them are safely on the bed they make eye contact, silently challenging the other to let go first. That's when they realize that Farkle's hands are still on her waist and hers is still on his chest from when he pulled her up and she needed to stabilize herself and then Riley is jumping away from him so fast that he could be a little hurt, he isn't though.

oOo

They meet up before the awards after they all had gone home to officially change and had properly worn their turtlenecks. He sees Riley first, she's there early since her father needs to help set up and is still reading, although now it's her romance YA novels that she loves. He doesn't even need to call out her name because as soon as he turns the corner she looks up and smiles brightly, waving and then running to him. She stops a foot away and twirls.

"What do you think?" she smiles, confidently. Twirling one more time before stopping and just opting for bouncing up and down.

"You look beautiful," he blurts and he watches as she blushes.

She really does, he thinks. And as the others arrive and the ceremony begins, he realizes one thing only: he really loves seeing her in his orange turtleneck.

* * *

The second time he sees her in his orange turtle neck he still hasn't given her scarf back. She hasn't asked for it back either and although he doesn't need it anymore since he started wearing his turtlenecks again, he still uses it when it gets unbearably cold. Whenever he wears it around her she always blushes just the tiniest bit before smirking and continuing with whatever she was doing.

They're not twelve anymore (for Lucas's case he's not thirteen anymore) but instead are sixteen and seventeen. Lucas and Maya are the oldest of the group, with Farkle next and the Riley, the baby. Maya still treats her as if she is one and she insists that everyone else should do it too but Farkle never listens. She doesn't need to be coddled. No one ever realizes that she can hear what everyone is saying about her, bad news, or about anyone else. That is, no one except Farkle.

She's sixteen when she realizes that Lucas isn't all he's cracked up to be. She started to know this when he had lied to her about his age but it's becoming more frequent now. Small things like lying about what he's doing or why he's done something has caused distrust between the two but it has managed to bond Maya and him a little. He's dating a cheerleader now and Riley has to admit, she doesn't feel any jealousy or longing whenever he kisses her.

So it's not because of Lucas that she ends up in Farkle's fire escape at one in the morning. She's in Farkle's fire escape because her parents were fighting. And they never fight.

There are tears running down her face and it's winter so her hair is caked with snow and is practically frozen. She's not sure why she automatically goes to Farkle instead of Maya. But she does because she needs someone who will listen to her rant instead of telling her to sleep.

When he hears her three light knocks against his window he's pretty sure that it's a robber. But then he wonders why a robber would knock at his window and he gets the feeling that something is terribly wrong. He finds out he was right when he sees Riley huddled outside his window crying and shivering and rocking back and forth as if that will warm her up.

It doesn't take him long to unlock the window and lift her in. She's already in a ball so it's not that hard and he might not be as muscled as Lucas but he is stronger than people give him credit for and it's pretty easy to lift Riley.

He leaves her curled up on the floor for a second while he runs to get different pair of clothes for her and a towel and blanket. She hasn't moved an inch when he comes back. He knows she won't move for anything so he does something he knows he shouldn't probably do but she might get hypothermia if she stays in those clothes so he slowly strips her of her wet ones.

"Riley, trust me here, okay?" he asks. He doesn't want to do this without letting her know what he's about to do. And he's sure as hell not doing it without her consent but she gives a nod and looks into his eyes and he gulps before starting to move his hands.

He starts with her sweater that she's wearing. It's not exactly thick and he knows that from the material and the snow that is layered on top of it that it will shrink if he throws it in the dryer so he sets it aside. She's wearing a tank top underneath it and although he's scared he knows that without taking it off she'll be colder even with the dry clothes he's picked out so he slips his hands under her tank top and slowly rolls it up, desperately trying not to pay attention to her bare skin. He's a gentleman and he's not going to let his hormones get the best of him, so he averts his eyes making them stay on her face instead of her body and slides the orange turtleneck on her without ever letting his eyes leave her face.

She's still awake, he knows because as soon as he slipped the shirt on she smiles and attempts to snuggle up in it. He smiles back and hands her his sweatpants, a silent offering. She nods and takes them and he turns around so that she can change into those.

When she's done he wants to laugh, her hair is soaked and she's wearing an orange turtleneck, that doesn't fits him anymore but definitely fits her since she hasn't grown all that much anyway, and sweatpants that he got from the high school. He hands her his towel and she smiles in gratitude and dries off her hair the best she can.

Farkle knows that he should really be getting his parents up and telling them that Riley is over but he can't bring himself to leave the small sixteen year old here alone when she's still crying. So he grabs her hand and brings her to his bed and tells her to sleep there and he'll sleep on the couch in his living room but when he tries to move away she grabs his wrist and all but begs him to stay. He does.

It's 2:30 in the morning when she finally says her first word to him. She's claimed the left side of the bed and is curled up in blankets on blankets and is turned on her side so she can face him. The room is dark and neither of them can see the other but just knowing the other is there is comfort enough.

"My parents were fighting." Her voice is so quiet it's almost inaudible. It's also raspy from crying and nasally from her stuffy nose.

"Parents fight," he states simply, recalling the yelling that went on earlier that night in his house. It's normal for him, but it's not for Riley.

"I wasn't even supposed to be home. Auggie was at Ava's and I was at Maya's but I forgot something and went back to go get it and they were yelling and screaming and then I heard a door slam and my father grumbling. I think he's sleeping on the couch."

That was never a good sign. But Farkle's seen her parents, they were going to be fine. "Parents fight, it doesn't mean it's over." He can see her nod just barely under the light that's coming from the window. And then it hits him, "Wait, you said you were at Maya's?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you go back there?"

She pauses, uncertain. Why didn't she go back to Maya? It's Maya. Her closest friend, her confidant. But she looks at Farkle and all that he's done for her. Not just tonight but ever since they were tiny, and she doesn't know how to describe it. She just needed him.

"She's not you."

oOo

Riley's plan was originally to stay at Farkle's long enough to vent about what had happened and then leave and go back to Maya's apartment. She was just going to drop by and tell him how she was feeling so that Maya didn't get the brunt of her problems the next day. But then he gave her his orange turtleneck that she had practically fallen in love with and a pair of sweatpants that, she had to admit, weren't the softest, but was without a doubt the most comforting pair she had ever worn. And then she had gotten into his bed, innocently of course, and had fallen asleep.

Maya however had no clue of this plan. She didn't even know why Riley would ever go to Farkle's house on her own anyway. So when she woke up and Riley wasn't there, her first thought was that she was at home. She wasn't. And then she checked Lucas's, they hadn't talked to each other in a while and had grown apart, and he had no clue where she was either. Farkle was her last thought but she went anyway to look for Riley for good measure.

She had expected him to freak and check everywhere that she had and then do some nerdy thing that would reveal her location. Instead she got a sight that almost knocked her off the fire escape.

Her three knocks on the window didn't do anything to wake what she presumed was the one sleeping body. She would've kept knocking but she stood up instead to see if she could tell if Farkle was just ignoring her or was actually asleep. Instead of one body she saw two. And one was Riley Matthews.

She was tucked into Farkle's side so that while he lay on his back, she was turned towards him. His arm was looped around her as to make sure she was always there and her arm was reached around his torso so that her hand ended at his waist to where, Maya saw, her grip had wrinkled Farkle's shirt.

Her clothes were in still wet piles on the floor and she was still wrapped in Farkle's clothes. The sight made Maya smile involuntarily. She had assumed that Riley was still hung up on Lucas from her crush in middle school, but her being in Farkle's bed, wrapped in his arms, told a completely different story. One that made sense now that she actually thought about it.

Now, Maya had two options. She could leave and just text Riley, or she could call Farkle's cell, which she knew was always on and was always loud. The mischievous side of her won, and she called Farkle's cell and watched in amusement as the two jumped apart from each other with Riley blushing and Farkle smirking slightly, before running a hand through his hair and then picking up his phone.

"Hello?" he asked from the other side of window. Riley had laid back down and snuggled up in Farkle's sheets before falling asleep again while he still sat upright.

"Farkle," Maya greeted. "Have you seen Riley? She wasn't at my house this morning."

From outside the window, Maya watched Farkle as he smiled and looked at Riley, running a hand lightly through her hair. "Yeah, she's at my apartment."

"I know," Maya smirked and enjoyed seeing Farkle's eyes widen and him jump off the bed in surprise.

"What?"

"Window."

Farkle turned to see Maya waving smugly at his window, the same one Riley had been lifted through. He turned to make sure Riley was still asleep and when he was able to confirm that she was, he ran to the window to open it and let Maya through.

Maya landed on the floor with a little bit of a thump and took a seat at Farkle's desk, swiftly picking up his stress ball and laying her feet on his desktop.

"So Farkle, what are your intentions with my best friend?" Maya asked, happy that she had the upper hand here while Farkle still managed to be slightly flustered.

"She came here last night, soaking wet. I gave her my clothes and let her sleep in my bed."

Maya nodded, she believed him but decided to keep pushing to annoy him. "So nothing happened?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Farkle blushed but shook his head.

"And you don't like Riley at all?"

His eyes narrowed, "Of course I like Riley. She's my best friend, I like her the way you like her."

Maya nodded, "I mean yeah. But," she paused movie closer to Farkle. He had grown since they were in middle schools so now he towered over Maya, tall and lanky. " you like her in a different way. Don't you, Robot?"

He was about to answer when Riley intervened, finally waking up. "Maya?"

"Yeah," she answered, not wavering her piercing gaze on Farkle.

Suddenly, Riley sprung up, scrambling out of bed and running to the two figures that were talking in the middle of the room. "Maya! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I was going to come back from my house but-"

"Don't worry about it. Looks like Farkle took good care of you," the words sounded harsh on paper but there was no bite in them. She gestured to Riley's outfit.

Riley blushed and crossed her arms over her stomach, hugging herself tighter. "He did, didn't he?" she smiled, looking at Farkle, who smiled back.

"Well, I'm going to go get food from your kitchen," Maya said excusing herself from the room after about of minute of staring between the two brunettes.

"You feeling any better?" he asked as he started to pick up her slightly damp clothes. "Sorry they didn't dry all the way."

"It's okay, I'll just go home in this," she said gesturing to her outfit and making a pose. They both died laughing in about two seconds from her posing.

"You'll get weird looks."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause I do."

Riley made a noise that resembled a cough. "Then I'm definitely going to wear it."

"Why would you knowingly suggest yourself to that?"

"'Cause you do," she shrugged. He was about to reply when she grabbed his hand, linking her fingers with his. They both almost jumped away from the shock that seemed to go through both of them but Riley held on. "Come on, I need breakfast."

"You _need_ to change."

"I like how I look in your turtleneck."

Farkle smiled as she pulled him down the hallway and into the kitchen where Maya was snacking on cereal.

"Yeah, I do too."

* * *

The third time that Farkle saw Riley in his turtleneck she was studying with him.

"Why are you wearing that?" he asks her. It's borderline summer now so the fact that she's wearing his turtleneck is a little weird to put it lightly.

"I was cold," Riley shrugs in answer. She's not really paying attention in the first place. They have to prepare for their chemistry final and although it is her favorite subject, they're juniors and she wants to do particularly well on it.

"And you decided that you'll wear my turtleneck instead of, I don't know, a sweater? One of the hoodies that are hanging quite literally right there?"

They're in her room and he is right, there are sweaters strewn everywhere and she could've definitely just thrown one on but instead she opted for his orange turtleneck that she ended up taking home when she stayed over his apartment that one awful night.

She shrugs, slightly exasperated at this point, "It was just there."

He doesn't push it farther, for now.

They keep studying, occasionally asking questions and making remarks and at one point Riley gets up to get a snack from the kitchen. This eventually turns into a game of, who can hit the other person with more pretzels without the other realizing it until after they've hit them (just for the record, Riley wins).

It's almost ten when they've finished their notes and are started to call it a night. The books are mostly packed up and she's saying goodbye and he's already down the firescape when she realizes that he left his pencil case. It's a split second decision, but there really wasn't any decision at all. She was always going to rush down to give it to him.

The most reasonable decision would be to go down the stairs, but Riley had never thought quite reasonably and so she goes down the fire escape, tripping on the way down and landing on the concrete below. It wasn't a long fall, but it was enough to cause some minor bruising and just a couple scratches.

"Agh!" she screams. It's loud enough to capture the attention of some of the passers but it's also loud enough for Farkle to turn around and catch the end of the her falling. When she sees him she scrambles up and rushes up to him smiling, breathless, but smiling. "You forgot this."

He looks at her bewildered, but so utterly in love. "You could've just given it to me tomorrow before homeroom," he suggests. She blushes but shrugs in response. He takes her hand that has a couple scratches there on the palm of it. "Maybe then you would've not gotten so hurt." She shrugs again in response, still trying to get her breath back to normal.

"It's okay, I'm okay." He nods unconvinced and then takes a couple steps back from her so that they're separated by a couple feet.

"Walk to me," he orders simply. She shrugs like it's no big deal but as she takes her first step she winces and by the second her legs give out for a second. Farkle's there to catch her though. "You're not okay," he laughs.

"Sure I am," she smiles back.

He takes her hand and guides it so it drapes around his shoulders and loops his other arm around her waist so it takes a lot of the pressure off her walking. "Come on, I'm helping you back upstairs."

She fights him back on it though, "That's redundant, I can just walk up and save you the trip."

"Well I just saved you from tripping," he smiles at his awful joke and when he looks at her she's smiling too. "So I think we're even."

"That is most definitely not how it works," she argues. But they're still walking in despite her protests.

They eventually make it to the door of the Matthews' apartment and instead of going in they just stand there talking. Her arm is no longer around his shoulder and his arm is no longer around her waist but she's leaning against the doorframe and he's standing awkwardly with his hands shoved in his front pockets.

He's made another awful joke but she's still doubling over laughing and she accidently stands up so that her balance is lost. Farkle quickly cuts in, grabbing her waist again like he did when she almost fell off his bed in middle school. Except this time he doesn't let go of her waist and she links her arms around his neck. They stand there like that for a second before he leans down and she musters up all the courage she has and stands on her tip toes so that he doesn't have to lean all the way, and they kiss.

It's not long but it's sweet and simple and not too overwhelming. They've both kissed other people before. Riley kissed Lucas multiple times when they had that weird dating thing and Farkle has had his fair share of girlfriends. But this kiss means something so much more.

When they break apart, they both immediately touch their foreheads to each other before reaching up again to kiss one more time before she heads inside. Farkle thinks at this moment that maybe that orange turtleneck is something like good luck.

He's halfway down the halls when she opens the apartment door and rushes towards him, crushing her mouth into his.

"I forgot to ask you. Date? Tomorrow?"

Her voice is seemingly breathless but Farkle understands quite clearly.

"Topanga's?"

She stands on her tiptoes and kisses him one final time for the night.

"It's a date."


	2. Dares and Kisses

**Hello my lovelies!**

 **So I wasn't originally going to make this story a multi-chapter story but I wanted a collection of stories for Riarkle shippers out there. So these are unrelated unless said so and yeah! Enjoy! Disclaimer: I do not own GMW**

 **Summary: Farkle and Riley learn that kissing booths can come in handy.**

She had to admit, for the long amount of time that Riley had known Maya, she hadn't actually expected her to trick her into working at the kissing booth at her local fair. She really should've known that she was going to at one point or another. But Riley hadn't been paying attention and was instead looking for jobs online so when Maya innocently asked her to man the booth for a little, Riley mumbled a 'sure' and moved to where Maya previously was.

She hadn't noticed Maya's casual movement of slipping on her jacket and running to the exit of the fair to escape for a makeout session with her boyfriend, Josh. She did notice when a group of arguing young men came up to her booth. It was then that Riley had finally noticed the time, it had been an hour and a half since Maya had left.

"Effing hell," she mumbled, stuffing her phone angrily into her pocket and grabbing her jacket to chase after her friend who went who-knows-where. She glanced around, attempting to sneak out when the group of arguing guys moved closer, evidently wanting to participate in the kissing booth. Riley, annoyed and pissed off, slipped her jacket off her body and moved to the other side of the booth, slumping on the stool.

She took out her phone and scrunched up her long sleeves so that they ended at her elbows instead of at her wrists. It was only three in the afternoon and the booth was planned to be open until the fair closed for the day at six and Riley expected Maya not returning until the next day.

The booth was Maya's idea in the first place. They were both twenty-two and had just graduated college so Maya ordered a road trip as a celebration. The only problem being the twos lack of money and since they needed enough money to get from Boston (where they had attended college and had rented an apartment) to LA and back, they obviously couldn't go. Thus the idea of the kissing booth. An idea that was completely fine and justifiable to Maya and utterly gross and stupid to Riley. And somehow, Riley ended up being the one running it.

* * *

The group of guys that were currently arguing in front of the kissing booth included Farkle Minkus, Lucas Friar, Zay Babineaux and Brandon or 'the Rebel'. Farkle was currently the only single guy out of the small foursome and was relentlessly teased because of it.

"Why didn't you just ask that Smackle girl out?" Zay questioned. "She was your type."

"I don't have a type," Farkle retorted, clearly annoyed that they were attempting to set him again. Which would make it the fifth time this month, and it was the seventh of June.

"Sure you do," Brandon smiled. "Nerdy, right?" Farkle knew that he was teasing him, but it was annoying all the same.

"Just ask a girl out, you don't have to know her," Lucas added.

Farkle, completely done with the conversation, attempted to walk away from the group, only to have them follow him and keep arguing.

When they caught up, Farkle bursted. "Look, when I find a girl, I'll ask her out. However, I haven't found a girl. Also, I may be nerdy but at least I don't look like it. No turtlenecks, no ugly glasses."

"You're still wearing plaid," Brandon pointed out. Farkle rolled his eyes but didn't make any attempt to move away.

He was wearing plaid. It was an unbuttoned button-down over a plain grey t-shirt and some old jeans he had pulled out of his closet. He had expected some fun at a local fair, not an interrogation. Farkle used his old pair of black chucks and kicked the hay that was on the ground.

"Fine," Lucas said with a smirk. "Let's do truth or dare."

"You mean dare because you know that you won't let anyone pick truth," Zay corrected to which Lucas covered his mouth with his hands.

"How about, you kiss that pretty girl at the kissing booth," Lucas gestured over to where Riley was standing, idly alternating between playing on her phone and reading a book. "and we'll stop bugging you about getting a girlfriend for the next two months."

Farkle's eyes went wide. He turned around to see who Lucas was gesturing to, only to find a pretty girl with long, chestnut hair and a teal long-sleeve shirt that was tucked into a short floral skirt. Way too out of his league.

"No deal," Farkle chickened out, walking determinedly away from Lucas.

Brandon grabbed Farkle's arm, pulling him back to the group. He was too intrigued on how this would play out to let Farkle walk away so easily. "What about for the rest of the year?" he offered.

"Six months, without you guys ever bothering me about getting a girlfriend, if I kiss that girl?" Farkle asked.

The group of boys looked at each other and nodded. "Sure, but you're paying the five dollars."

He looked between his best friends and the pretty girl who had suddenly looked up at Farkle, making eye contact, before quickly looking back down at her book.

"I'll do it," Farkle smirked, enjoying the shocked faces of his friends.

He's nervous, way more nervous than presenting his valedictorian speech or leaving his home and moving to Boston to go to Boston College. This is a different kind of nervous, one he isn't fully comfortable with. Then again, who is?

He's kissed girls before (not including his mom). Two to be exact. His ex-girlfriend of three years, Mabel, and his seventh-grade crush, Shannon. But never a girl that he had no idea who she was or how old she was. She could be seventeen and he'd be technically kissing a minor and he wouldn't even know it.

From behind him, Farkle could hear the snickers of his friends. He makes a mental note to kill them all later but he keeps walking towards the booth. The five dollar bill in his pocket is getting scrunched up between his fingers but he tries to focus on the girl and not how nervous he is.

When he's about a foot away, she looks up. Her eyes are a beautiful brown, slightly darker than her hair, with specks of gold, but beautiful nonetheless.

"Hi," she smiles, close-lipped, and he reckons that she's nervous too. "I'm assuming you're not here for directions to the fried dough stand, right?" She brushes a strand of her hair away from her face, only for it to fall right back in her line of sight, but she doesn't try to move it out of the way.

Farkle nods, his nerves taking over. Suddenly he remembers the five dollars and puts it on the booth in front of her. She takes it in her hands and smiles putting it in the register.

"What's your name?" he blurts out. She laughs in response but answers.

"Riley Matthews, you?"

"Farkle Minkus," he replies and color flushes his already red cheeks.

"I like it."

There's a pause and he gives her this feeble smile and she responds in a nervous laughter.

"Kissing right," she says, breaking out of her inner-monologue of nervousness and bringing both of their focus to the reason he gave her five dollars.

There's this moment when both of them think the other is gonna back out. This moment of apprehension. But then he gives her this smile and Riley just can't describe how she feels because he's a stranger but he doesn't feel like one. Right now, he feels safe. So she leans in and he does too.

As soon as their lips close the gap, both of them can instantaneously tell that this kiss is different from any other that they've been in before. It's not just how nice it feels it's the burning sensation and the butterflies that come with it.

Within seconds, Farkle has already entwined his hand into her hair. She would do the same but they're on opposite sides of the booth and and her stomach is also pressing fiercely into the wood.

They're laughing when they break apart, both fully aware of how weird they must've looked.

"So we're in public," he states, smiling dumbly. She breaks into a fit of giggles and he follows suit.

"Yeah, it seems to be that way."

"They've gotten quite a show."

Riley nods, smiling, and moves from the inside of the booth to where Farkle is standing outside of it. He's scared by how natural it feels to slip his hands to her waist. Not pulling her closer but just holding her.

Suddenly there is a whistle from Farkle's group of friends. Lucas approaches first, smirking. Farkle reluctantly pulls his hands from Riley's waist.

"You're welcome," Lucas coughs.

Riley attempts to stifle a laugh but fails instead opting to burying her face into Farkle's shoulder to hide it. He doesn't object to her actions and actually welcomes it, loving the feeling of her comfortableness around him.

"Yeah, actually, thank you," Farkle amends, pulling Riley just a tiny bit closer. "All of you," he says this time directing it towards his other friends who just wink and make gestures. "Now you guys can go."

Reluctantly, Riley breaks away from Farkle and runs towards Farkle's friends, "Wait!" She grabs each of their hands shaking them and smiling. "Hi, I'm Riley Matthews. Can you do me a favor?"

Before they can really say anything she pushes them behind the booth grabs her bag and Farkle's hand. "Watch the booth okay? I think you have a bunch of customers that are just _dying_ to kiss you."

"Anything for you, pretty girl," Zay winks. Farkle shoots him a glare that instantly shuts him down and mumbles an apology.

Riley smiles at the boys, silently thanking them before pulling Farkle out of harm's way from the crowding girls just waiting to be kissed by his friends.

"Where are we even going?" Farkle asks her.

"Away," she shrugs, bringing him outside the fair so they're just walking past the commercial area by all the shops. "We have a few hours before I have to go back. What do you want to-"

He doesn't let her finish, he just kisses her.

* * *

When Maya returns she's shocked to see the booth being run by three boys.

"Hey!" she screams, catching the attention of the now scared three boys. "Who the heck are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

Perfectly on time as always, Riley appears with Farkle's arm wrapped around her waist and his jacket draped over her cold shoulders. "I don't know, what happened to you about three hours ago?" her tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Riles, it wasn't personal."

"I know," she smiled, pulling Farkle closer to her so she can lean her head against him. "Farkle, this is my best friend in the world, Maya."

"I assume this is my competition," Farkle responds smirking down at Riley.

"Oh yeah," Maya happily agrees. "And I think you're losing."

Extracting herself from the bickering two, Riley attends to pushing the three boys out of the booth. "How'd you do?"

"Well," Brandon says, handing her the money. "And thank you for making my boy, Farkle, so happy."

Maya comes over, taking the money out of Riley's hand. "Good lord that is some amount of money. Thank you guys for taking over."

"We didn't really have a choice," Lucas adds. "We couldn't say no to Riley."

"Welcome to the club, no one really can."

Riley listens as the guys and Maya talk, Farkle once and a while saying a point. Mostly she just packs up the booth, taking home the cashbox and taking down the sign that's too tall for her when Farkle comes from behind her and taking the sign down for her.

"Thank you," Riley smiles, her lips tight and her eyes bright and shining.

"Always," Farkle smiles.

 **Please review!**

 **Love, ChevronStars**


	3. Breathe Again

**Summary: Riley needs to breathe again. And with Farkle's help, she just might be able to. _This is a riley-centric story with a hint of riarkle so if you want more riarkle than skip this chapter._**

It's normal for her to be the only one there. She's always early to ensure that she's never late, one of her pet peeves. Usually she wouldn't mind, but the crinkle that the envelope makes everytime she moves her hand is a constant reminder of the future. She's always been one for length but when she looks at the contents of the envelope later she just wants to see one word, 'Yes'.

Each time the door opens, she whips her head towards it, hoping, praying, that it's one of her three friends, holding the same white envelope that contains their fate. It never is though. So in the meantime she crosses and uncrosses her legs before deciding just to tuck them under her. She immediately feels bad because her dirty street shoes are now on the soft fabric of the chair but then the envelope drops from the seat and onto the floor and she forgets what she was worrying about.

She could open it right now. She could stop all this madness of waiting for her friends and just find out her fate now. But there wouldn't be any point. This is just one college letter out of the many that she has stuffed under her mattress. This is just the one from NYU. But it isn't just a letter, at least not to her friends. To them it's the determining factor between whether they go to the same college or not. To her, it's just another option.

The door chimes again, but for once she's too focused on something else and she doesn't notice one of the three come in, the exact same envelope tucked into his back pocket.

He sits down on the chair next to her, legs apart, hands on his knees, wondering how long it will take her to notice that he's actually here. Apparently not that long because as soon as she looks up, it's right at him, and she lets the letter fall off her lap and onto the floor again as she lunges at him for a hug.

There really isn't any hesitation, he hugs her back, almost immediately recognizing the shaking that she's doing. "Hey," he greets, his voice filled with concern. "You doing okay, Riles?"

She nods, she's doing fine really, it's just the nerves. They always get her in the end. She leans over to pick up the envelope before holding it in his face. "Farkle, these little rectangles can determine our future," she pauses looking at it, turning it around and reading the all familiar street addresses printed on the front. "Doesn't that freak you out a bit?"

Before he can answer, the final two of the group arrive. Lucas with his arm looped around Maya's waist, both of their envelopes safely stowed away in the pocket of Lucas's hoodie. They sit across from the other two smiling excitedly.

Maya looks at Riley and Farkle, a brightness in her eyes that is almost unidentifiable to them, before asking the, "Did you guys open yours?"

They both shake their heads, casually tossing the two letters onto the coffee table in front of them, waiting for Lucas to take out the two that are in his hoodie. When he places them down, there's this silence.

"Okay, I can't take this," Maya practically screams. She throw each of their respective envelopes at them and almost rips hers open in the process. "Come on, let's see what the future holds shall we? I'll go first."

Riley holds her breath as Maya tears the envelope open. She's messy with it, little pieces of paper being littered here and there. When Maya takes out the letter the other three wait in anticipation to see what it says. Farkle leans a bit, Lucas tries to read over Maya's shoulder before she squishes the letter to her chest and shoos him away but Riley just waits, reading Maya's expressions.

"Oh my God," Maya whispers. Riley can see the hint of a tear forming but before it can fall Maya blinks it away. "I got in." They think they hear it wrong. But Maya stands up, holding the letter above her head and screaming it so that the next block over can hear. "I got in!"

Lucas is the first to hug her, followed by her mom who came out to kick whoever was yelling out only to find out it was her own daughter. Riley is last in line to give her hug but she doesn't mind.

Farkle is next, there's really no doubt that he got in. His essays were spectacular and his interviewer absolutely loved him so when he announces proudly that he got in and Riley immediately leans in to kiss his cheek in a completely platonic way, there's really no huge yelling and celebration.

When Lucas hesitantly opens his, Maya ends up opening it for him, earning her a light-hearted glare and a kiss from him. When he's done reading, he folds the letter and tucks it under his leg, holding his face in his hands but when he removes his hands, he's crying and smiling. A nod gives the signal and all three of them are already on his back, hugging him and laughing and smiling.

Picking up her envelope, she weighs it in her hand. Riley looks at it another moment before handing it to Farkle. "You do the honors."

"Riley,I can't," he denies, handing the letter back to her.

"Neither can I," she laughs humorlessly.

She nods again as encouragement and he opens it reading the first line. "Dear Riley Matthews, we are happy to inform you tha-"

Maya immediately screams, tackling her best friend and hugging her. "We did it! We all did it! Wait wait wait wait _wait._ We need to make a plan now. This is the school we are going to. _Together._ "

"Well, duh," Lucas agrees.

Farkle nods, slightly enthusiastic.

Before Riley can even say anything, Maya beats her to it. "Amazing," she smiles. "It's a deal."

oOo

She lifts up the mattress, uncovering over twenty, unopened, acceptance letters for different colleges across the country. Picking each of them up and throwing them on top of her comforter, she runs out to the living room to pick up the letter opener her mom keeps in the desk's drawer.

She opened one by one each saying ultimately the same verdict, she was accepted.

oOo

Riley had been running errands for her mom when she saw them. It still stung now and then. Seeing Lucas and Maya would always hurt a little bit when she saw them like that. Clinging to each other as if the world depended on it. Her mind would sometimes picture Maya with brown hair just to get a glimpse of what it could've been like. Her first boyfriend. Her bestfriend. Yeah, it definitely still stung.

Maya stood on her tiptoes to kiss her boyfriend. He instantly picked her up so she wouldn't have to work.

She didn't want to, but she saw it. How perfectly they fit together.

It still hurt. And somewhere deep down she hated that they were together. And she hated herself for that.

oOo

When she got home, she rooted through her closet, pulling out all of her less favorite bright, floral dresses, all of her flowy pants and all of her neglected floral skirts and shoving them into a box before stuffing it at the top of her closet. She pulled out her clothes that she bought that day while doing her mom's errands. They were all simple clothes: skinny jeans, that she never used to wear but that she found herself liking to nowadays, different patterned blazers, ones that were plain black, grey, and white but others that were striped and floral and polka dotted, and then loose fitting shirts that were simply one-colored.

She hung them up, smiling. It wasn't what she had been used to wearing but she loved each item of clothing. It was understated yet simple and elegant and pretty.

"Riley?" Farkle called. He walked into her room just as she was throwing the last box on the top shelf of her closet. "What are you doing? And what are you wearing? And where are all your old clothes."

"They're gone," Riley shrugged in response. She had changed into some simple skinny jeans and a grey tank-top with a lace biker jacket on top. "I didn't want to wear them anymore."

"Why not?" Farkle moved around the extra clothes on the floor to sit on the bed.

"Because they represent the old me, the one I don't really want to be anymore. The one from middle school where I was an optimist."

He turned to look at Riley, shocked at what she was saying. "But that _is_ you, Riley. You're an optimist. You believe in Pluto and true love, and soulmates." He paused for a second, making sure that she was listening. She was. "Riley, you believe in the things that no one else has even the smallest bit of courage to believe in."

Throwing the last of her clothes into the hamper she sat across from him on the bay window. Her smile that was so bright while she was organizing her closet had diminished. Her long brown hair covering her face as she let it hang down while she looked at the floor. She paused before she spoke. "That's the thing Farkle. I'm not an optimist anymore." She moved to look at him, he was still staring at her. "Look how things turned out. Four years later and Pluto is still a big nothing. The person I considered to be my one true love is dating my best friend- and don't get me wrong I'm happy for them. But it stings. It does sting." She let out a deep breath before continuing, " Farkle, how am I supposed to be an optimist when the things I used to believe in aren't worth believing in anymore?"

He could hear the desperation in her voice. The want to be the way she was, but the knowledge that she just wasn't anymore. The desperation for him to understand that she had changed. He looked at her, her outfit, her sad eyes. The girl he had fallen in love with was different now.

She got up, and sat next to him. She grabbed both of his hands in her tiny ones and leaned in so he had to look in her eyes. "Farkle, I need to grow up. We all need to grow up at one point in our life, okay? And everyone else got their shot. Maya got a new wardrobe and reinvented herself. You became Donnie Barnes: regular guy." She gave him a small laugh and a smile before continuing. "Lucas came here. He started a new life for himself." Her smile dropped and her eyes moved from him to everywhere but him. "I'm just Riley."

He lifted his hand, grabbing her chin lightly and making it face him again. "Yeah, you're just Riley. You're the sunshine, you're a ray of sunshine. What's wrong with tha-?"

She broke apart from him. The anger in her eyes becoming a little more prominent. She left the bed, standing a foot away from it and staring at him. "What's wrong with that is that no one cares if _I'm_ the ray of sunshine. They just want someone in their life that is one. They don't care who plays the part, they don't care what the person wants to be, they just want me to be a ray of sunshine. And I'm not." She shook her head and moved back to the bay window. "Not anymore. Not here. Not in New York. I need to get out of the city."

She closed her eyes, just sitting there, trying to hold back her tears. She had finally said it.

When she opened them, Farkle was sitting next to her again. "Whoever you want to be," he said, poking her nose lightly, making her let out a small breathy laugh. "I'm gonna be right there next to you, okay?"

She smiled, gratefulness written all across her face and another emotion he couldn't point out. She looked at him like he was her everything. "Okay," she nodded, giving him a hug.

Breaking apart, Farkle gave her a reassuring smile and clapped. "Now, what other schools did you apply to?"

oOo

Riley stood outside the living room where her parents, Auggie and her uncle Josh were hanging out, watching TV. She looked at them, and felt so bad. What she was going to tell them, she was afraid it was going to break their hearts. Suddenly, she felt Farkle's hand slip into hers. He squeezed it gently. Smiling at her when he knew she felt bad.

"Guys? I need to tell you something," Riley announced. Her hand still intertwined with Farkle.

Topanga and Josh looked at their hands. "You and Farkle are dating?"

"What?" she asked, she then looked down at their hands and separated them. "No, he's just here for moral support."

"What is it Riley?" Auggie asked. He wasn't that small anymore but she still dragged him into her lap, hugging him from behind.

"I've decided that I'm not going to be going to NYU." She awaited their expressions. Her dad mostly. He'd been wanting her to go there since she was in diapers. He didn't want her to leave the house, much less the state.

"Why not?"

Riley paused. She knew why, she just didn't know how to articulate it. And with everyone watching her, it felt next to impossible.

"She just doesn't feel comfortable anymore, sir," Farkle said, speaking up on Riley's behalf. "It's not that she wants to get away from you guys. She just wants to get away from the city."

"Right," Riley says. "I love you guys, it's just, I don't love the city anymore. Not the way I used to."

"Where are you going to go then?" Josh asks.

"Well I applied to colleges across the country," Riley explains. She pauses to smile. "I even got accepted to Stanford."

"Sweetie, that's wonderful!" Topanga mused.

"That's too far," Cory shouted.

"I know," Riley said, agreeing with Cory. "But I also got into Yale and Harvard and Boston University. I know they're definitely further than New York City but they're still closer than California."

Cory stopped talking. He was definitely sad that she would be seriously leaving New York but she seemed so adamant about leaving. So happy that she would be able to have a change of scenery.

"You got into Yale?" Topanga asked, her eyes bright with pride. "Honey, I'm so proud of you. That's incredible."

"Better than your mother could do," Cory mumbled, smirking, to which Topanga immediately hit him gently with a pillow.

Farkle looked at Riley constantly, making sure she was okay. And he could tell that she was. Despite the fact that she was wringing her hands and shifting uncomfortably, he could tell she was just waiting the approval, he could tell that she was confident that this was the right thing for her.

"I think it's a great idea, Riley," Auggie says. He turns around in her lap to look at her, his big brown eyes filled with pride, just like Topanga's.

"You do?" Riley asks, her voice cracking ever so slightly.

He nods, tucking his head under her chin. "You haven't been happy, Riley. I mean you have but even though I'd miss you, I think you'd be happy somewhere, not…here," he explains.

Cory leans over, facing Auggie, "not helping, buddy," he whispers.

Rolling her eyes, Topanga nudges him, silently asking what he thinks.

"I think that…" Cory pauses. "That we'll miss you, so very much."

Auggie moves from Riley's lap, knowing he'll be thrown off it if he's still sitting on it when she finally realizes what their dad is doing.

"Does that mean…?" she trails off, letting Topanga answer her half-said question.

"Yes, Riley, we're okay with you going."

Riley lets out a squeal and immediately jumps up and hugs Farkle. She buries her face in his shoulder and whispers 'thank you' over and over again and he hugs back equally as enthusiastic and happy for her as she is. Before he can even say anything back she separates them, going to hug her parents and then spinning Auggie around before peppering kisses across his face.

Laughing, Topanga tells her daughter, "Go, decide your college. Whatever you pick, we'll be here."

Riley shoots her a grateful, loving smile, before grabbing Farkle's hand and pulling him into her room to help her decide.

oOo

It's been three hours, and still, Farkle is by her side, helping her make multiple pros and cons lists for each college. She's currently, hanging off her bed. Her head almost touching the floor and the bottom half of her body on the comforter. He's sitting next to her on the floor, going over the lists for a fifth time.

She pauses when he finishes the last list. "I think I want to go Boston University."

He watches as she gets up from the bed, moving from that to the floor where he's sitting, and leaning her head hesitantly on his shoulder. He waits until she's not tense anymore before talking. "Really?"

"Yeah, I mean. It's close but not too close. I can have space without feeling like I'm completely abandoning my family and the programs, they're really good. I mean I can major in biochem and minor in film, which I know is really diverse and might be a trainwreck but I just get this vibe that-"

"Riley," Farkle interrupts her. "Whatever the reason, if it makes you happy. I'm supporting you."

She nods, settling her head once more and relishing in the feeling of everything going right once more. Until she remembers one reason that it's not.

"Maya," she states, bringing her head off of Farkle's shoulder and sitting upright with fear. "We promised her that we'd go to NYU with her." Her voice drops to a whisper. "She was so excited."

Farkle shakes his head. "I agreed, you never did. She just assumed you'd be fine with it. So she'll understand."

"She won't. This school, all four of us together, she's been dreaming of this ever since the college topic was even brought up. She's gonna be heartbroken." Riley pauses for a second, and shakes her head. "This was a stupid idea, I'm gonna be apart from Maya and my family." She turns to look at him, her eyes almost filled with tears. "I'm gonna be away from you."

"Hey," he says, grabbing her face in his hands. "You weren't the only one that applied elsewhere. I applied to Boston University too. And I only agreed because everyone else was. Except you, I guess." She looks at him, a glimmer of hope, shining through. "This is _not_ a stupid idea. This is you growing up, just like you said you wanted to. You've been more excited about this than you have been about NYU or anything for the past months."

She gives him a sad smile. "But I'd be all alone."

"Then I'll go with you," he suggests, not really thinking about it. "Yeah, I mean. It's not the same without you, Riles."

"I don't want you to go just because of me."

"Then I'm going because of the programs they have. Because, they do have insane programs," he says, gesturing to the pros and cons lists that are scattered on the floor.

She looks at him, still slightly skeptical. "You really want to do this?"

"I really want to do this," he says with a conviction that tells all.

Before she can say anything else, he leans and kisses her. And in this moment, everything is just...perfect.

oOo

"You guys wanted to see us?" Maya asks as she climbs through the window and onto the seat that is below it, Lucas trailing behind with Maya's small hand in his.

Riley and Farkle are sitting on her bed when they come in. His head in her lap as they lightly talk and she runs a hand through his hair every so often. By the time Maya and Lucas has sat down, they've moved so that they're sitting side by side.

"Yeah," Riley says nervously and Farkle instantly uses his hand to rub her back comfortingly, smiling when she relaxes almost as soon as he makes contact. "It's about NYU."

Maya's face breaks into a grin and jumps to a wrong conclusion. "Is it about living spaces because I already have a plan. We'll live on campus the first year and all four of us will save up and we can rent a studio apartment our sophomore year. Or-"

Lucas interrupts her, guessing by the sad look on Riley's face and the awkward look on Farkle's that, that's not exactly what they were going to talk about. "Maya, I don't think that's what they had in mind."

Immediately, her smile drops and she looks at the two questioningly. Then a knowing grin breaks out when she sees Farkle's hand still lingering on her back. "Ohhhhh, I see where you're going here. You two are together."

"No!" Riley screams, frustrated that Maya wouldn't let her talk. Then she stops herself, "I mean, yes, we're dating now." Maya squeals in excitement and Lucas joins with a 'alright, buddy' but Riley continues, "But that's still not what we were going to say."

"Well, what is it?" Lucas asks.

"Guys, I want to go to school in Boston," Riley states. Her voice timid and shy but firm at the same time.

Maya's the first to speak, "What? Boston? But-wh-you applied to a college in Boston? I mean, I didn't even know."

Riley looked at the floor, "You never asked."

"Of course I asked," Maya replied, her voice holding a tone that made everyone uncomfortable. "I asked what colleges you applied to."

A silence falls between the group as Riley struggles to answer. "No," she says. "You asked me if I applied to NYU." She looked back up at Maya, Farkle noticing a tinge of annoyance in her tone. "You asked me if I got _in_ to NYU. You never asked me what other colleges I applied to, or toured, for that matter."

Maya stood up and shook her head in disbelief. "Well, you can't just _not_ go to NYU. I mean, it's the plan. You love the plan. You agreed to the pla-"

"I never agreed to any plan, Maya!" Riley yelled, finally fed up. She stood up as well, her fists clenched in anger and her eyes tinged with sadness. " _You_ agreed to the plan," she said pointing at Maya. " _You_ agreed to the plan," she said pointing to Lucas. "And you just agreed because you thought it would make everyone else happy," she explained, looking at Farkle. "Okay? But you all just assumed I'd be okay with it and I'm not."

Riley took a deep breath before continuing. "I would _love_ to go to school with you guys. It would be great if we could but-"

Maya interjected, "And we can, Riley! If you just go to NYU with the rest of us in the fall then-"

"That's not the point!" Riley took a shaky breath and they all realized that she was almost crying again. Something she had been doing a lot in the past couple days. "I never agreed to this plan. You can not hold this against me, okay? And I get that you love New York City, Maya." She looked at her best friend. "You love the grunginess and the sensation that this city gives you every time you step outside, and I am _so_ glad you do." She looks at Lucas this time. "And you guys want to live here, and grow up here, and be a part of the energy and just _be_ here. You guys live and breathe this city and," she lets out a strangled cry, "all it's doing to me, is suffocating me."

Maya eyes dropped in shame. She sat down next to her boyfriend.

Riley sat down as well before talking again. "So yes, I applied to a school in Boston. And yes, I got in. And yes," she looked Maya straight in the eyes. "I'm going."

She let the words hang in the air. It felt good to get it all out there. To finally tell her two other friends what she had been thinking for weeks now.

Farkle spoke up, "I'm going too."

"Farkle," Lucas replied. "I know you guys are dating but-"

"It's not about that. I mean it influenced it but, it's not _just_ that."

"Then why?" Maya asked, her voice monotone.

"I've lived here all my life. But it just doesn't feel like home anymore."

Maya nodded her head curtly. "Fine, then. Thanks for inviting us over." Her voice angry and harsh. "Come on, Lucas."

"Maya," Riley called.

"Don't," she warned back. She turned back to her best friend, betrayal evident in her eyes. "What happened to you, Riley? You used to love this city more than anything. When you were a kid-"

"I'm _not_ a kid! You guys still treat me like I don't know what's happening with our government or police, like you guys need to shelter me from everything, like I'm some project that you've been built to protect. For God sake's, I'm the same age as you guys! Well not Lucas but, I'm the same age as you Maya!" Riley shook her head. "I know I haven't had the same life as you, okay? but you don't need to shelter me all the time, it's annoying. That's another reason this place is suffocating me. Because everyone knows me as the girl they need to protect. To protect the girl they grew up with, but you don't realize that instead of protecting me it's like you've been forcing me to stay in the same innocent persona."

"Well what's wrong with that?"

Riley sighed, "It's not who I want to be. And you can storm out now if you want, but please talk to me when you understand that I just don't belong here."

Maya nodded, her eyes tearing up but her smile genuine. "I will."

oOo

It had been late at night when Riley heard the window to her room open. She heard the comforting sound of Maya's boots click on the floor and she felt the bed bounce a bit as she lay down next to Riley.

"Hey," Maya said, resting her head on Riley's pillow.

Riley smiled to herself, and after pausing, answered, "Hi."

"So, I guess I haven't been that fair in listening to you. But I'm happy you're standing up for yourself. And as long as you visit from Boston with Farkle then I guess I can live without you."

Maya paused for a second, letting her sarcasm take over, "But not really."

Riley let out a laugh, happy that they weren't fighting or ignoring each other anymore. "You could always come with us."

"I didn't apply, and you said it yourself. I live and breathe this city, I can't leave."

Riley turned to face Maya, "Worth a shot."

"Don't worry, honey," Maya smiled, "You're still my number one."

oOo

She watched as the buildings slowly turned into suburban houses which turned into miles of road. She looked at the clock, thirty minutes since she and Farkle had left New York City. Thirty minutes since she had said goodbye to Maya. And thirty minutes since she finally felt like she could breathe again. She had forgotten what it had felt like. To just breathe.


	4. My Dear

**Summary: based off the song _My Dear_ by Kina Grannis, this one-shot shows snippets of Farkle and Riley's life.**

 _I cannot live without you, I told you this is true._

Riley's hand searched for Farkle's in the moonlight. There was so much uncertainty, so much she didn't know, so much to be nervous about up ahead, she just needed him.

The four of them were sleeping over at Riley's house. It was almost a week until their freshman year of high school and while everyone else was calm, Riley was a nervous wreck. She needed some comfort, so without thinking, her hand started looking for his.

Farkle's hand, cold and clammy, instinctively curled around hers, and she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

Riley lay there for a second just drinking the moment in. Her hand in his, looking out the window while the three of them slept, she just hoped the everything would stay like this.

Her voice uncharacteristically sad, Riley looked at the sleeping Farkle, "I can't live without you," she whispered.

He shifted but stayed asleep, his hand clamped a little firmer around hers now.

 _I'll take pieces of you with me, I'll take parts you never knew._

She had slowly adopted Farkle's small snort laugh over time.

They had started to spend more time together once high school had started. While she did have a couple classes with Maya or Lucas, Farkle had all the same classes as she did, so it only made sense that Riley would study with him and walk with him to classes.

Without either of them noticing, they found that the most constant person in their life was the other. But they didn't mind. Farkle had known Riley since the first grade, and Riley had always depended on Farkle, she just didn't realize how much he depended on her as well.

It was when her dad had told a joke to Farkle and her during dinner that she noticed that her laugh matched his now. No one else had put any thought into it, but Riley's big boisterous laugh turned into a small snort and a smirk-like smile that clearly resembled Farkle's.

She didn't mind.

 _And one day you will wake up, without warning or a clue, and start to notice little things that are missing parts of you._

It was a monday when Farkle noticed that his nervous tick of ringing his hands were gone.

Ever since he was a kid, whenever Farkle got even the slightest bit nervous, he would wring his hands harshly. But now, as he got up the courage to audition for the newest play, he's surprised to find that he isn't wringing his hands at all. He's not even pacing back and forth wondering and rehearsing his lines. He's just lost in his thoughts.

When he gets on stage for his audition, he starts wringing his hands again. Old habits, die hard, he thinks to himself. But then out of the corner of his eye he sees Riley leaning against the auditorium door. It's a closed audition so he wonders how she got in, but then he realizes he's stopped torturing his hands.

Maybe she's why I stopped, he thinks again.

He takes a deep breath and looks at Riley, she smiles and gives him a thumbs up.

In the end, he gets the part.

 _Oh, I need you here. Oh, you always be my dear._

Truth be told, Farkle isn't the best at comforting people. He's awkward, and that's being generous. He's all about, pats on the back and smiles, but that doesn't normally work on someone who's crying their eyes out. So he makes exceptional effort to avoid people who need comfort.

The exception to this, is Riley Matthews. Always has been. He's never good at comforting unless it's Riley, because he knows that when she falls down, she needs the most help to get back up. She's the happiest so she falls the hardest. It's always been something that Farkle's been aware of. So while others get a pat on the back, Riley gets pep talks and hugs and platonic forehead kisses (or at least, semi-platonic forehead kisses).

This is why when Riley has been bullied again, Farkle's the first to find her. He's the one to pick her up and he's the one to get her ice cream and make jokes until she cracks a smile.

But when Riley doesn't come out of her room for a couple days, Farkle is a little lost. He knows where she is, but maybe she doesn't want help, she just wants to wallow. However, Topanga and Cory show up at his apartment and take him by the hands and practically pushes him into her room, making him cheer her up.

He doesn't know what to do.

He sees Riley, hair tousled, bed a mess, and eyes red, and he hears her voice, "Farkle?"

So he nods and he can hear a sigh of relief.

"I kind of need you right now," she pleads.

He reaches her bed and grabs her hand and suddenly, he knows what to do. He just needs to be here. Maybe no pep talks but she just needs to know that he's physically with her, so he stays.

 _The freckle on your shoulder and the creases on your cheeks._

When things change between them, it feels so natural. One moment they're Riley and Farkle, best friends, and the next they're Riley and Farkle, power couple. But it doesn't feel like anything has changed, because maybe it's been there all along, just hibernating.

She points out the freckle when he's wearing a tank top. At first he thinks it's just because she wants to ask him something, because she pokes it. But after he asks her a number of times what she wants she keeps poking it. He's about to get annoyed when she stops and he thanks the heavens that she has. But then he feels one more thing, her lips kissing the freckle.

She relishes in the fact that he breaks out into a goofy grin once she kisses his freckle. Riley Matthews is an observer, and while she loves the freckle, she loves the creases that appear when he smiles as well.

He smiles with his whole face, she thinks, smiling up at him.

She could get used to that view.

 _The scar upon your forehead and your whisper when you speak._

When they leave New York City for college and they rent the same apartment, one of her favorite things is that she can just be in the same bed with him. Not anything dirty just sleeping in the same bed with him, knowing that he's right next to her and he's not going anywhere, it's her favorite thing.

She's wide awake again. Just like on the night that before high school, and he's fast asleep. Hesitantly, she lifts her hand a bit towards his face, her fingers grazing the scar on his forehead. The one he got in central park when they were chasing each other and he tripped. She almost bursts out laughing. He's such an idiot, she thinks happily. She kisses the scar.

His eyes flutter awake and when she runs a hand through his hair, he hums in happiness and kisses her forehead. "Hey, sunshine," he whispers. His voice is ragged and rough, but she doesn't care one bit.

"Hey to you too," she mumbles, right before snuggling up to him.

His arms that wrap around her, they feel just like home.

 _I took them cause I need you. I took them to be mine. I took them so you'd miss them so you'd want them back in time._

When he comes home from work, he's pretty sure that Riley's asleep. One of his coworkers paid him some extra money to take over his shift so it's pretty late when he gets home. He just thanks his lucky stars that he didn't have classes the next day.

However, he's surprised to see that Riley's up, reading through a textbook on their couch, occasionally sipping from a mug of chamomile tea.

"You shouldn't be up," he tells her, rubbing his eyes as he does so.

She gets up from the couch and walks to him, his hands finding her waist. "Then neither should you," she retorts back. She watches as he shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

After a second, he looks at her outfit. "Is that my t-shirt?" he asks.

"Mhmm…" she smiles. "What about it?"

"Well, why are you wearing it?"

"Because you haven't been home all day and I missed you," she pauses, "Is that stupid?"

He shakes his head, "Far from it."

She smirks up at him, "You want it back?" she asks slightly suggestively. He nods and she laughs, "Too bad," she chuckles and kisses his nose before saying she's going to sleep.

This girl, she was going to be the death of him. Whether he knew it or not.

 _If I hold on to you, don't let me go._

"Farkle, please don't leave."

He kept packing. Randomly taking clothes from what used to be their dresser and shoving it into his suitcase.

"I love you, please, just let us talk this out," Riley pleaded again.

He just shook his head, seemingly unaware of what she was even saying. She wrapped a hand around his arm, he froze.

"Please," she sobbed, her voice breaking and her tears streaming down her face.

Farkle looked at her, his beloved Riley, and he kissed her on her forehead. He heard the sharp intake of breath and he could tell that it had sparked hope, he had just made it worse for both of them.

"Stay," she whimpered. Her hand squeezing a bit tighter.

But he couldn't. They were broken. Maybe they could be fixed but Farkle just couldn't see how right now. So he shook off her hand, zipped his suitcase and slammed the door.

As he reached the streets he could feel his heart breaking. He could feel the pain in his chest from leaving as the cold air filled his lungs. Why was he doing this to himself? He looked both ways. Right or left?

He went left.

 _Oh, I need you here._

There was a flatline. There was silence. And then there was a funeral. That was how Riley had remembered it. Three months after Farkle had left, her father had called saying that something was wrong with Grandpa Allen and that she needed to fly to Philly that night. Her Grandma had passed away a year or two before but her Grandpa had been okay, or that's what it seemed.

In the hospital room, he smiled at Riley and told her to keep breathing with a wink. Then he stared at the ceiling and said "I'm coming, Amy." And the flatline came.

The funeral happened the next week in Philadelphia. Riley had been in her grandparents backyard in the old treehouse when she heard footsteps.

"Dad, I just need a minute," she yelled out the window. "Or a year," she mumbled to herself.

Instead of her dad's voice calling back, she heard silence. And then she saw Farkle.

"You're not my dad," she whispered.

"You're not my mom," he awkwardly replied.

He came inside and lay down next to her. "You okay?"

She scoffed, shaking her head, "Peachy," she said, bitterly.

"What are you really feeling?"

"Like absolute crap," she laughed mirthlessly. He wrapped an arm hesitantly around her, and was happily relieved to feel her sink into his body. "Where have you been, Farkle?" she asked him, her voice exasperated.

"I'm not too sure to be honest," he joked. She didn't laugh. "Not where I needed to be," he sighed.

She shook her head, "What were we even fighting about?"

Farkle tried to think back to that night. He found it hard considering he had seriously pushed it out of his head until now, "I honestly don't know."

"You're not going to run out on me again, right?" she snapped, but there was a touch of vulnerability, a hope that he would stay.

"Not a chance," he assured her, squeezing her a little tighter.

 _And oh, you will always be my dear._

It took some time. There were awful arguments daily for a while. Him leaving being brought out many times by Riley. Most of the fights ended in small amounts of tears, others ended in laughter. But they ended up being okay.

The toughest times were at the beginning. After he stayed for the funeral, they talked. Really talked. And Riley found that they had both grown up in ways neither of them had really accounted for. Riley had grown a bit bitter, and Farkle had grown more sheltered and wary of everyone, but they still fit. Maybe the edges were a bit jagged but they wore them down.

"I love you," Riley mumbled, she was half-asleep but she was well aware of what she was saying. It was the first time either of them had said that since they had gotten back together.

Farkle smiled down at her, "I love you, too," he whispered, loud enough so she could hear.

They both knew in that moment, as Farkle leaned down to kiss her forehead, that they were going to be okay.


	5. I'm Sorry I Was Late

**Summary: Four times Riley realized she was too late, and one time she was right on time.**

 _i._

The first time Riley realized she was too late, it didn't hit her too hard. She had been pining over Lucas for over a year and she'd been so consumed in making him her prince charming that she overlooked the people around her. Charlie, who had been nothing but polite and caring, had asked her to the semi-formal the exact way she wanted to be asked. When Riley looks back on the day of the semi-formal, she just wishes she saw his qualities sooner. But what really made her realize she was too late was with the boy she never expected. She realized she was too late with Farkle.

Farkle was the boy she met on the first day of first grade. He was the one that gave her half of his cookie as a peace offering when he had dropped jam in her favorite book. He was the one who would push her on the swing, only after she pushed him first. He was the one that she depended on whenever a girl got too mean, or the teacher snapped at her. He was the one that Riley had always considered a friend, and nothing more. Which made it all the more confusing when she saw Farkle with a girl at Topanga's after school one day and her stomach dropped.

There was an unspoken rule between Farkle and Riley that they would always study together after school. If not until the late hours of the night, then at least for thirty minutes. They would always meet at Topanga's and then would end up going back to one of their houses to finish their study session.

But when Riley walked into Topanga's today, she found Farkle talking to a different girl. One that wasn't Maya or her. She told herself she really shouldn't be surprised. Farkle was an attractive guy, and his personality was one of Riley's favorite things about him, but it was still weird to see him with someone else.

She looked at where they were. Both of their bodies were facing each other, and there were smoothies on the table. One of them mango orange, Farkle's favorite, and the other strawberry lime, which was Riley's, but the girl had just taken a sip of the strawberry lime and Farkle hadn't interrupted her and he hadn't even turned around to check if Riley had arrived.

When he did, Riley waved, and Farkle waved back, but made no attempt to move or tell the other girl that he had to study now. Instead, he just turned back around and kept talking.

Riley will remember this moment as the first real time that she will ever feel her stomach drop. She'll remember how when he turned back around it felt like she couldn't breathe, how there was this numbing feeling in her abdomen and that she felt like she was watching a car crash in slow motion, and couldn't stop it. Except, Farkle wasn't the one crashing, it was her.

Within a minute of Farkle turning back around, Riley had left. She had closed the door to Topanga's and leaned against the wall, trying desperately to calm herself down. She didn't understand. Farkle was an amazing guy and he looked happy to talk to that girl, and as his best friend, she should be happy too. Ecstatic even. But she wasn't. Instead, she felt sick to her stomach. She felt like she was being crushed under an unknown weight that was looming above her.

When Riley managed to get back home, she didn't even bother saying hi to Auggie or her parents. They had all greeted her and she had mustered up her best fake smile, and by the way that they kept talking as if nothing had happened, she assumed that they had bought it.

Riley found that it was hard to let go of someone that wasn't really hers in the first place. Farkle has shown her friendship, but it didn't mean that he was hers or that he belonged to her. But then why did she want to go and tell the other girl to back off? Why did she want to just lie in bed and do nothing?

She wasn't one to get so caught up in these sort of things. Even with Lucas, when it came to Missy, she didn't feel her stomach drop, she felt a red, hot burning anger. She felt hurt but the dominant feeling was anger. Anger that Missy chose what she wanted and she got it.

But this, this was something completely different. Something completely out of her knowledge.

"You're jealous," Maya told her later that day.

She had came into her room at four in the afternoon to find Riley curled up in her bed sheets, just lying there, motionless. Maya shook her head at her best friend who had refused to get up and instead clung to the sheets as if that would save her life. She had told Maya to leave her alone, that she was sorting out some of her feelings. So Maya stayed.

Riley ran a hand through her hair, "I don't get it. Farkle has never been more to me then a friend. He's the one I want to get ice cream with, not kiss under the mistletoe."

Maya shrugged, "Why can't he be both?"

Riley wondered that herself. Why couldn't Farkle be the guy she wanted to get ice cream with _and_ kiss under the mistletoe? Why couldn't he be the guy she wanted to go ice skating with and cuddle when it got cold? He already got ice cream and ice skated with her, why were the other two any different?

When she thought about it, maybe the reason that Farkle couldn't be both was because she never let him. She had never let him be her date to the semi-formal or be the one that she wanted. That was always Lucas. Lucas was the one that she had dreamed of kissing. He was the one that she practically begged to be her date. He was the one she kissed on the subway. None of those were Farkle, but in that moment, she was wishing all of a sudden that it was.

"I'm not jealous," Riley protested to her best friend.

Maya had let out a disbelieving snort and crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back against the window sill. "I'm afraid that you are, honey," she said, smirking.

"Farkle doesn't belong to me," Riley defended weakly.

"You're right, he doesn't," Maya agreed, "But the way you're feeling right now, Riles? That's jealousy, and you're jealous."

Riley began to stammer, "But I don't even like him that way."

Maya sighed and moved to hug Riley closer, "Maybe you do."

When Riley sees Farkle and the same girl together the next day at school, she can feel her heart start pounding and she forces herself to look away before she makes a complete fool of herself while she blocks the hallway. He turns around and points to the girl with a thumbs up, Riley musters up a fake happy smile and leaves. She doesn't realize that Farkle's smile falters a bit when he notices her smile doesn't fully reach her eyes.

This time when she realizes she's too late, it stings a bit. She doesn't realize this is going to be the easiest one to get through.

 _ii._

The second time that Riley realizes she's too late, it hurts both of them. It almost tears their friendship apart and she's lucky that she's too stubborn when it comes to fixing things and that he's too afraid to lose her because otherwise, maybe they would've lost the other forever.

"Riley, you have to move faster. Farkle's party starts in an hour and you've got to be on time like you promised," Maya says. She's fixing her hair and throwing on her shoes, trying to finish wrapping his present between each task, so her words come out every one to two seconds as she tries to catch her breath.

"Maya, I have to tutor a seventh grader, I'll try to make it but-"

"But nothing," Maya interrupts, "You promised you'd be there, if not on time then just be there at all."

Riley sighs, she wants to be on time, she wants to be there, but the tutoring is for her community service and this kid is struggling so much she just wants to help him be better. So she gives Maya her present for Farkle and says she'll meet her there later before rushing off to go help the kid.

"Thomas," Riley greets. She's a little out of breath from running a couple blocks to make it there on time but he doesn't seem to notice. "What do you need help on today?"

Thomas gives her a wave and let's her sit down before going on a rant about how he used to be really good at chemistry and now he's struggling. "Oh," he interjects again, "My mom is going to be a little late picking me up today."

Inwardly, Riley curses herself. She should've just canceled the meeting. The kids aren't allowed to stay in the school or on school property without their tutor or teacher with them. "How late?" Riley asks nervously.

"Thirty minutes," he shrugs, turning both of their attention back to his chemistry book.

It doesn't turn out to be thirty minutes. It doesn't even come out to be an hour. Thomas's mom is two hours late. They go over math as well as history after they finish chemistry and when his mom does finally pick him up she pays Riley an extra twenty dollars and apologizes because she picked up an extra shift at the hospital. Riley waves it off and says it's okay but as soon as the car pulls away, she's grabbing her bag and running across town to Farkle's apartment building.

She bounds through the building's door just to see Maya and Lucas come out of the elevator, bags of trash in their hands. When Lucas spots her he shakes his head, purposely bumping into her shoulder as he walks outside.

"Lucas," Riley calls after him, her voice pleading and her hands waving in the air trying to grab his attention.

Lucas reluctantly turns around, facing the shorter brunette. "You better have a good excuse for this, Riley," he tells her.

"I do, the kid I was tutoring-"

"We all know you could've canceled," he interrupts. His grip tightens on the garbage bag and he puts one of his hands on the door to open it and leave. "The question is: why didn't you?" He leaves Riley standing there with Maya next to her, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, honey," Maya says, her voice quiet. She drops her bag of trash and pulls Riley into a hug.

Riley sniffles a bit and attempts to stop the guilty tears, "I tried, the lesson was scheduled to be thirty minutes, but the mom picked up an extra shift and I-"

Maya stops Riley with a wave of her hand. And Riley realizes in that moment that Maya's disappointed in her. "You should be telling someone else this. Someone else who has their birthday today, yeah?" Maya directs, picking up the trash bag and sending her a sad smile her way.

"Maya-"

"Riley, go."

Riley runs up the couple flights of stairs to Farkle's apartment. She doesn't even bother knocking just opens the door to find a quiet Farkle, playing with a birthday hat sitting on the couch. "Farkle," Riley breathes, trying to catch her breath.

Farkle lets out a mirthless laugh, "You finally showed up."

"Thomas's mom was late, I honestly meant to be on time but-"

"You always mean to be on time, Riley," he says. His cheeks are red and his brow is furrowed but he's fighting to keep his voice even despite of that. "But you always end up late anyway and on my birthday? It wasn't by a couple minutes or even thirty, it was two hours. You promised you would be here."

Riley lets her composure break for a second, "I know, Farkle, I do," she steps forward and without thinking, Farkle immediately steps back.

That action creates a silence. For once in their lives, one of them has moved away from the other. They've rejected the others open hand. She can see the regret in his face and he can see the pain that floods into hers but neither can say anything.

Farkle puts his face in his hands. This is something he really can't take back and both of them know it. They both feel the air change from some type of comfort to another type of hostility. She's staring at him hopelessly, begging him silently to just step forward again, to at least try to take it back. And as much as he'd like to, he can't. Something inside him breaks and he can't just step forward and let this go.

Riley lets out a strangled breath and Farkle watches her as presses her lips together, a habit she picked up when they were kids. It hurts him to see her falling apart. It's like he can see her almost tearing at the seams and despite all those years of taking care of her and of mending her when she breaks, he doesn't know how to fix this.

When he does speak, he says the worst possible thing, "I think you should go, Riley," he mumbles. He can hear how his voice breaks on her name and it's like he can see him saying it and he's thinking another.

Farkle can picture himself doing this. He can see the way he avoids her eyes and he's begging himself to just not stand there like an idiot. He wants to tell her it's alright and that he forgives her. But the second part of him, the part that's telling her to leave, is so stubborn and mad that he's not seeing Riley, he's seeing his anger and he's acting upon it. And he hates himself so much for it.

She nods. "Happy birthday, Farkle," she chokes out, not even attempting to hide how hard this is for her. Riley gives him a sad smile and walks over to him and kisses his cheek lightly, biting her lip afterward. Quickly, she pulls a box out of her bag and sets it on his coffee table. It's small and has a bow on it and she starts to head out after she puts it down.

"You already gave me a gift," Farkle says, picking up the box and twirling it in his hands.

Riley turns around, her hair whipping to her back, "I know."

And before Farkle can even ask her anything else, she's gone. He unwraps it carefully, still shaken from what just happened. It's broadway tickets to Pippin.

When Riley leaves she heads to her mother's law firm. She know she shouldn't but all she wants to do is cry, so she enters the building and knocks on her mother's office door before going in and collapsing into her mom's arms.

"Shh," Topanga whispers, stroking Riley's hair as she cries into Topanga's shirt.

Riley finds that she right about now, she hates being late.

 _iii._

"I think I'm in love with Farkle," Riley tells Maya as their snacking on chocolate chip cookies.

It's been a long couple months since Farkle's birthday and Maya's not even a little surprised to hear Riley's confession. In an attempt to fix their friendship, Riley and Farkle talked for a while and they started hanging out and studying together like they had used to.

Maya's even happy to think that Farkle might like Riley back. Being an outside party in their friendship, Maya can see the lingering stares and the nudges between the two. She can see the way that when they pair up in class that Farkle would rather be with Riley than with Lucas. And she can see the way that Riley freezes up when Farkle talks to another girl, even if it's for the homework. She sees it all.

So out of everything that's happened, she definitely sees this coming.

"You don't say," she mumbles condescendingly, most of her focus not on Riley but on an art magazine she's flipping through. Riley stands up and starts to pace a bit before Maya adds on to her thought. "You should tell him," she smiles, attempting to inspire hope in her best friend.

Riley shrugs and sits down on her bed, "I don't know Maya," she sighs. "I could ruin our friendship, again. What if he doesn't even like me back?"

Maya scoffs at this. "Are you kidding me, Riles? The boy is so in love with you, it's sickening."

"How can you even tell? It's not like you've been in love before."

"Maybe not, sweetcheeks. But between the way he stares at the back of your head like it's the Mona Lisa and the fact that he blew off the science convention to help you get out of the bad part of the city, might be some signs. Just go and tell him, before it's too late."

Riley thinks about this. Maybe if she could convince herself to gather up enough courage to tell Farkle, she would. And she can picture this playing out. The way she climbs his fire escape to his room and confesses her love before he tells her he loves her back, and they kiss. She can see how perfect everything could be and then crumbles at the possibility that it might not be.

"Absolutely not," Riley denies.

Knowing that Riley is too stubborn with her feelings to persuade her differently, Maya gives up with a sigh. "You're choice," she shrugs, turning her attention back to her magazine.

It's later in the evening when Riley gets up the courage to maybe go see Farkle and tell him about how she feels. Seizing the moment, she throws on her favorite brown peacoat and casually drapes the red scarf around her neck before bounding out the door into the coldness of winter.

She carefully climbs the fire escape, happily exhaling once she gets to Farkle's room, her happiness fading when she sees Farkle and another girl talking. She can see the way he inches towards her and the way that the girl bites her lip in anticipation and Riley wishes that the girl could be her.

She fully knows what she could do. She could easily knock on the window and interrupt their moment and just go along with her plan of telling Farkle just how much she loves him, pointedly making sure the girl sees this play out. But she can't do that. She can't ruin this for Farkle because his happiness and desires are way more important to her than her own. So she climbs down the fire escape, sits on the curb of the apartment building and texts Maya to meet her outside.

Maya plops down next to Riley ten minutes later. She watches as Riley brings her knees a little closer and she lets her arm fall across Riley's shoulders.

Riley sniffles before mumbling a, "I was too late."

Maya knows all too well what that feeling is like, so she pulls Riley up off the curb and walks her home, making sure she's okay before going home. It's going to be a long night.

 _iv._

"I know, I'm interrupting something but here's the thing Farkle: I am so utterly in love with you. I'm in love with the fact that I had to teach you how to do laundry and that you still sometimes call me in the middle of the night asking for help. I'm in love with how you always split your french fries with me and how when you're embarrassed your cheeks don't turn red but this soft pink that makes your freckles more noticeable. I'm in love with the way you dance and your voice. I'm in love with the way you rant relentlessly for hours on end and how after it, without fail, you ask me for my opinon.

"Farkle I am so in love with you that it hurts me to see you with anyone else but I bear it because you deserve to be happy without any complications and when I see you with a different girl, I become one."

There's a pause.

"I, uh, I realize that this is a voicemail and you can't really respond. But Farkle I love you and I'm so sorry that I was too chicken to ever tell you even if it was just a timed phone call before your flight left. Good luck at your internship, Farkle. You're going to show up everyone there, I just know it."

 _I._

Riley pulled her cardigan a little tighter around her, tapping her feet in a constant, random rhythm against the tile floor. She knew she was earning glares from the tired people who had stopped to sit on the bench next to her, but despite that, she couldn't care less. Half of the time she hadn't even realized that she was tapping her feet. She only knew that she was doing it when her parents came over to tell her to calm down and stop fidgeting.

Every once in a while, one of her friends or family members would sit by her and talk to her. They would make small talk and ask questions that Riley had monosyllabic answers to, and they would join in on her feet tapping for a little before getting up, from what she assumed was boredom, annoyance or some combination of both, and going back to the group of people.

She felt the bench shake a bit as another person sat down, this time, uncomfortably close. Riley turned her head, suddenly curious. As she did so, she was face to face with her seventh grade crush. Without warning she let out a small cry of surprise.

Lucas leaned back in triumph, basking in his victory of scaring the heck out of his friend. "Gotcha," he smirked, resting the ankle of one leg on top of the knee of the other.

Annoyed, Riley immediately let her hand fly out, hitting him semi-hard on his chest with the back of it. She smiled at his own jump in surprise and mimicked his smirk as she noticed him trying to rub his chest to relieve the small amount of pain. "Gotcha," she mocked back, not bothering to look at his reaction.

He held up his hands, "Okay, I got the message. I shouldn't have done that. But good God woman how are you able to hit that hard?" he asked, rubbing his chest a little harder.

"Oh, sorry," she apologized, sheepishly.

Lucas waved away her apologies and shrugged, "It's fine. You're tense, anybody could tell that."

Riley scoffed, "No, they couldn't."

He pointed to her tapping feet and gave her a knowing look. "All I'm saying is that I get it, there's a lot on the line here. I mean, Farkle's coming home and you guys haven't exactly talked since he called you back about that message and said that-"

Without thinking, Riley impulsively hit him lightly on the back of the head. "Don't go there," she warned, narrowing her eyes and and wagging her finger.

There was a mumbled apology and a silence fell over the two of them. He didn't leave like Riley expected, instead he just sat there with her. She found herself preferring that to sitting alone, it was nice to know someone was there with her.

"Are you doing okay?" Lucas asked, suddenly. Riley looked over at him, her eyes squinted in confusion. "I mean, you seem okay, but are you really, truly okay?"

She thought about this for a second before answering, "I'm not too sure if I am or not," she murmured. "It was always me being too late when it came to Farkle and now I'm here and I just don't know how to actually confront this decision anymore." She looked at Lucas and saw his face contorted in uncertainty. "It's like being so close to something you've always wanted and you still want it but you've been without it for so long just pining for it that you don't know what to do."

"I think I get what you mean," Lucas said, unsure.

Riley let out a deep breath, "If someone means everything to you, what happens when they leave?"

He moved his head to look at Riley. She was bent over with her elbows on her knees, playing with the stray strings on her sweater. He watched as she sucked in a shaky breath and hesitantly he laid a hand on her shoulder. "He wouldn't leave you," he confirmed, his voice firm and even.

"And if things aren't the same?"

"Then you run or you don't. That's a you decision. But if it's any help, I find change to be very good. It's how I met you, right?" he says, rubbing her shoulder once more in comfort before leaving her to her own devices.

She watched her family as they all grew bored and tired, just wanting to go back home. Maya had already started to lean on Shawn for help standing up, and Auggie was sitting on Topanga's lap, asleep.

"Riley, the flight's been delayed," Farkle's dad says. He sits next to her and watches as her face falls, the disappointment on her face evident. "I texted him to just call us when we need to pick him up, it's late, we should go home."

Cory walks over and smiles at his daughter, "We can come back with everyone then."

Riley shakes her head, "I'm not going."

"Honey-" Maya starts.

"I'm not leaving the airport, okay?" Riley protests, crossing her arms over her chests. "I'm twenty years old, I think I can handle an airport."

Stuart Minkus looks at the small girl and shakes his head. He's seen the same determination on his son's face whenever he's made a decision. It's the one that means she's not going to budge and it's the one that he knows is for Farkle.

Cory begins to interrupt when Minkus pulls him away, saying goodnight to Riley and giving her money for a cab to bring them both home when the plane arrives. Soon after, everyone's gone.

She finds herself wandering around the airport. Or at least, the small section she's allowed to be in. The quietness is weirdly comforting, the way it is when she sits on the fire escape in her parents' apartment. The stores are all closed and the staff is half-asleep as they monitor the place and clean up after the little kids who manage to throw trash everywhere.

Riley finds a more comfortable couch by the baggage claim. It's in the middle of everything so people see her and she sees people as they walk through. The couch has a floral print on it and it's squishy enough that she deems it okay enough.

Whenever a new plane comes in, she watches as the people scuttle through. Some of them are business men who aren't tired at all, just going through motions. Others are families with sleeping children and many suitcases. And the rest seem to be random people who are traveling alone or with their significant other or with their friends. When she tries to guess which ones are coming home and which ones weren't, she finds herself missing Farkle even more.

The next time she checks the digital clock, it's two in the morning. The janitor has asked her if she wants a blanket and in return she asks him if it's okay if she sleeps here for the night, which it is. He leaves her there and within seconds she's asleep. He puts a blanket on top of her, just in case.

…

She wakes up to her being shaken. It's not agressive at all but she finds it annoying nonetheless. It's when she opens her eyes to see Farkle that she stops being annoyed.

His hair is the same as it's always been and his clothes are a little wrinkled from sitting on a plane for hours without end but it's still the same boy from first grade in front of her. He's sitting on the couch in the spot by her stomach, as she has pressed herself to the back of it.

His brows furrow together as he opens his mouth to talk, "Did you wait up for me?" he asks.

Riley nods, still half asleep, burrowing her face into her cardigan. She attempts to open her eyes again and flinches when the light flows in.

He lets out a laugh and looks out into the empty airport, his hair falling into his eyes. She can't help but think about how much she's missed him. How she's missed their movie marathons and there random debates and how she's missed everything, even his girlfriends and his flirting with everyone who wasn't her. She's missed it all.

Abruptly, she launches herself into him, hugging him tightly, happy to find that he's doing the same. He's loved working at the internship but there wasn't anyone there quite like Riley. There were girls that he found nice and there were ones he could picture himself dating maybe, but there was no one that managed to make him feel the same way Riley did. She made him feel like he was complete.

He had spent years trying to sort out his feelings for her, trying to understand if she was something more to him than friends. This internship had made him realize that no matter where he was, he wasn't happy without Riley there with him.

"I missed you," Farkle mumbled into her hair.

"I missed you, too," she sighed.

When they pulled apart they still didn't let go, instead, letting their hands rest on the others wrist.

"Where's everyone else?" he asked after a second.

"They left once they found out that your flight was delayed," she answered, looking down at their hands.

He smiled at her shyness, "Why did you stay?"

She laughed and looked at him, "I figured it was a good idea not to be late. Get my timing down, you know?"

"Do I ever," he marveled.

"Your dad gave me cab money," Riley said, taking the money that she had shoved into her pocket out in between the two of them. "You want to go home?"

Farkle nodded, eager to see everyone again. They stood up and he laughed as Riley carefully folded the blanket, laying it on the edge of the couch.

When they kept walking, Farkle let his hand move to hold Riley's and she let him, trying to hold back her excitement as he squeezed a bit.

Suddenly, Farkle stopped letting Riley bump into him since she was distracted looking at the stars. "I almost forgot," he said, turning to her.

"Don't tell me you forgot your toothbrush in Seattle at your hotel because I'm sorry but I don't think your father is going to pay for-"

Rolling his eyes at her teasing, he leaned down, catching her off guard and kissed her. "I love you, too," he grinned, laughing at Riley's surprised face.

"You could've told me that after I left that gosh awful voicemail," she teased, leading him towards the cab that was waiting for them.

"Things like that are supposed to be in person, not in a _voicemail_ ," he nudged, gently pushing on her shoulder.

She shushed him, "I'm too tired for this," she joked.

"That's why it's fun," Farkle whispered, making her laugh a bit before settling into the side of his torso.

When they finally got home, they stopped for a second outside of Farkle's apartment, where Riley knew everyone was waiting. She lifted her hand to Farkle's head, cupping his cheek and brushing a strand of hair back. Biting her lip she looked up at him through her lashes and smiled. "I'm sorry I was late, before."

He leaned down to kiss her forehead, "I'm glad you're on time, now."

Riley looked up at this boy in awe and just couldn't speak. Until she could.

"Me too."


	6. Seeing Stars

**Summary: Five times that Riley and Farkle touched**

 **Warning: there are a couple typos, sorry**

 **Note: I posted this on my tumblr you-me-mars and I post a lot of drabbles and fanfic on there**

 _i._ The first time that Riley touched Farkle, she held his hand.

They had just met and Riley's hair swung in a tangled mess as she used the swings when she spotted him, a shy boy, on the outskirts of the playground. She jumped fearlessly from the swing, landing in a tumble of limbs as she hit the wood chips. She hadn't even noticed him rush over. But she had sat up with a large smile and a booming laugh, confusing the boy with knitted eyebrows.

"You should try that," she told him, brushing the small strands of hair from her face and standing up and twirling so that the wood chips flew off her cotton dress.

The boy stood bewildered, watching the girl with a sparkling gaze, admiring her as she kept laughing and smiling, even as he noticed the skin on her knees ripped from the impact of her body on the ground. When she stopped spinning she stared at the boy, tilting her head to the right as she surveyed him, taking in his bowl-cut haircut and his turtlenecks and jeans.

Just as he was about to feel self-conscious she giggled, "We're matching," she told him, running over and tugging at the sleeve of his shirt and pointing to her dress. Indeed they were, her bright orange, floral dress matched his favorite orange turtleneck.

Before the boy could respond the teacher blew the whistle, a signal for the kids to run back inside for a nap. The boy waited for the girl to make the first move. He was sure that with her bubbly personality she would take off without a single glance at him.

Instead, she swung her arms and held them behind her, watching the boy and waiting for him instead. He didn't even realize she was waiting for him until the teachers begged them to come inside already.

"Together?" she suggested, a soft, closed-mouth smile. And he nodded, letting out a smile of his own. She nodded with pride and only moved when she was sure that he was coming with her.

When they got inside, they were ushered to their blankets and lay down peacefully on the opposite sides of the room. When the boy fell asleep, he watched as the girl traced stars on the bare ceilings of their first grade classroom. And when he woke up, he found his hand clutched by that same girl, right next to him on the same blanket as before, but moved so that they were together.

He didn't dare move his arm, but he lifted his head off the mat to stare at the girl. Her long brown hair, still tangled, but shining with a light that was all her own. He squeezed a little tighter on her hand, taking comfort in her warmth. He froze for a bit when she had sighed and turned to lie on her back, but he was surprised to feel her squeeze back without ever waking up.

His father was surprised to see his son in this position. Even more surprised to learn that the girl was a Matthews. He smirked when her father walked over, tailored jacket and all, and stuttered out incoherent words.

"Nice to see you again, Matthews," he told the other man.

With a sigh and a smile, the shorter man turned to the other, "Nice to see you too, Minkus. It's been a while."

Wrapping and arm around her husband's waist, the girl's mother shot her own smile at the Minkus. "Sure has," she told them, kissing her husband on the cheek before gently shaking her tiny daughter awake.

The girl rubbed her eyes with the non-connected hand, and fell back onto her pillow with a stubborn look, refusing to move from where she was unless the boy moved with her. But she was awake, and she muttered to herself as she waited for the nameless boy to let his eyes open. And she listened to her parents talk with what she presumed to be the boy's.

"And he's awake!" the boy's father exclaimed, and Riley turned to see it true. The boy with a bowl-cut did the same thing as she did. He rubbed his eyes with his non-connected hand, not daring to stop holding the hand of the brunette.

"Say goodbye, Riley. We need to go home and cook dinner," Topanga told her, and the girl reluctantly let go on the boy's hand.

"Library?" she asked, her voice still sleepy.

"Of course," her father told her, and picked her up so she could ride on his shoulders, smiling as she felt like she could see the entire world.

Her eyes landed on her new friend's and she giggled, "Tomorrow?"

For the first time that day, the boy spoke to her. He nodded and sent a smile her way, "Will you bring books?"

With an excitement that could only be compared to a kid in a candy shop, Riley nodded. "If you bring some, too." From her perched, she turned her head to look at the boy as her father carried her out on his shoulder. "My name is Riley!" she yelled at him just as she was walking out the door.

He wasn't sure if she heard him but he called back anyway, "I'm Farkle Minkus."

It wasn't until a few seconds later that he heard her call back a gleeful, "I love it!" before being swept away into the streets of New York City.

 **.**

 **.**

 _ **ii**_. The second time that Riley touches Farkle, they're a bit older. She's touched him before, they've held hands plenty, especially with Riley's other best friend Maya, but the second time Riley touches Farkle, he knows he loves her.

He'd fallen off his bike. They're in central park together and while Maya and him ride their bikes, Riley glides across the pavement in her roller blades. She tells them it's like ice skating in summer and they believe her and laugh as they buy ice cream from the vendor by the lake.

It's not summer, it's fall. But the feeling is still the same. As she slides down hills and turns sharp corners, Riley revels in the feeling of the sharp, autumn wind on her cheeks and in her short brown hair. They've cut it off for a change. She immediately hates how her hair doesn't touch her waist but after a few conversations with Farkle about how he likes the way it's different and that she can finally put her hair in pigtails like Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls for Halloween, she learns to love it.

His heart stops every time that she falls on the ground, picturing the time that she had done so in first grade. But she always gets up the same way: a hand through her hair, a giggle, a brush of whatever dirt got on her dress, and then she's off. He's always the first one there though. Just in case she doesn't get up.

Together, the three of them laugh and smile and make piles of leaves in the middle of the park. While Maya and Farkle hop of their bikes with reckless abandon, throwing them on the ground like it's not a present from Farkle's dad, Riley sits by the trunk of the tree, unbuckling her roller blades and setting them down gently. They're a gift from her Uncle Shawn. And although he's never truly talked to her, she cherishes everything that he gives her.

She runs over in her socks, jumping with her arms out into Maya and Farkle's half-finished leaf pile, ruining the progress. They groan and yell at her, but soon they're joining her, jumping in so that the three of them are a mess of legs and smiles and pushes so that they're free from the tangle.

They lie there on their backs, letting the leaves cling to their shirts and letting their hair get messed up from the dirt. Each of them let out a smile when Riley grabs both of their hands, taking them in own her soft non-calloused hands. Sometimes, Maya will grimace at the contact, but only teasingly. They all know that Farkle and Riley are as close as a family that Maya thinks she will ever get. Whenever she does, Farkle and Riley look at each other before jumping on the blonde, tickling her until she admits that she loves them.

When they finish their leaf pile fun, they take turns kicking the leaves into the air, so it looks like it's raining leaves. Then they hope on their bikes and lace up their blades and are off. Gliding through the park until they find their own place to start over again.

Except this time, they don't make it there. As Farkle's tire hits a rock, he's thrown over the handlebars, his bike falling to the ground with a clank and his body, torn by the pavement. Riley's the first there.

She doesn't glide, she runs. She breaks out into a sprint. She cries out a desperate, "Farkle!" and lets her own knees skin as she rushes to him. Her tights ripped and the paint on her once perfectly, pristine roller blades, scratched off. She lifts his head from the ground as he groans in pain.

Spotting the blood on his own forearms and legs, Riley's eyes widen. She watches as Maya's does too. But while Maya moves to pick up Farkle's bike, Riley moves to pick up Farkle.

He knows that she's strong. She's the girl who flies and crashes but always gets back up. But she's never been too great at sports, but in this moment, she picks up every ounce of strength she has and centers it into Farkle. She pulls him up and wraps and arm around his waist, and he clings to her just as much as she clings to him.

They walk home like that. Maya with Farkle and her bike in hand, Riley with her blades slung over her shoulder, slipping every few minutes. She holds onto the boy, and they walk home silently until they reach Riley's house.

Mr. Matthews comes to the door, and takes the bikes and skates before lifting Farkle from Riley's care. They don't let go of each other's hands. With Riley's extra free one, she grips Maya's hand and the two best friends smile at what they have. A family.

When Topanga finishes patching Farkle up, the three sit on the Matthews' couch, eating ice cream and watching movies. They're asleep in under thirty minutes.

Maya's the first one to go, leaving Riley and Farkle drowsy and closing their eyes.

"Thank you, Riley," he mutters.

The brunette lets out a laugh, "Anything for you, Farkle."

She takes her body, and shifts it so that her head fits in the crook of his neck. They're in fourth grade. And they fit so well.

She falls asleep tracing the stars on backs of her eyelids and he falls asleep watching her. He knows that he loves these two girls with all the love he can possibly muster. He's known that since first grade. But he looks at the brunette and thinks maybe he loves her more. He's asleep before he can think stop himself.

 **.**

 **.**

 ** _iii_**. It's a long hiatus before the next meaningful touches come along. But when they do, they come quick, fast, like bullets. He can't keep track of them like he used to be able to.

When she hugs him, he feels this comfort that he can't describe. She hugs him after every debate. It's not meaningful by the fifth one. It's a tradition, but it's not meaningful. Maybe it's because he's always expecting it, maybe it's because she's a person of tradition and he's scared that those hugs are all that is to her.

He's never one to disappoint. Especially not her. But when he is told that he is a nothing. When he is told that he doesn't deserve her. He crashes. And he burns. And that favorite orange turtleneck that he has coveted since he had met her, goes into a box in the closet. Forgotten for a week.

When she finds him this time, he can only see disappointment written on her face. He can't seem to identify the worry, or the love, or the anger for whoever was doing this to him. He only sees disappointment. And then she pulls him into her, and hugs him with everything she has. And he only sees her. Everything is her.

When Farkle tells her he might have Asperger's syndrome, she is quick to judge. She is quick to say that he doesn't. It's only in her mind, it's only for a second. But she is quick to judge. But he looks at her when he tells her this. His gaze doesn't waver, his eyes don't blink, he looks at her and those thoughts are gone within an instant.

She looks back at him, and spots somewhere the same boy she met on the playground. The same boy she held hands with when he was sleeping and she knows that whoever he is, he's that boy. Asperger's syndrome or not. So she walks over to him and lays a hand on his shoulder.

He tenses. That's what she notices first. She lays her hand softly on his shoulder and she can feel every single one of his muscles tense with fear. Like he's scared of her. That's the only time when her eyebrows knit with worry. But then he sinks into her touch. He leans into her as he talks to everyone else. She squeezes his shoulder gently and she can see him moving just a bit so that he can at least get closer. Her touch just does that.

He lays a hand on her back when she needs it most. She's the first one out of the gate, rushing over to the boy she had loved blindly. She flips him over and Farkle lays a hand on her back. She tenses. But it's short, barely noticeable. And she wants to hug him, to lay a hand on his back too. To show that she cares about him still because even though she had pushed him to the side in this year since Lucas had come into town, she's still his Riley.

But he keeps his hand on her back, and he presses it to her a bit. And she leans in with a desperation for both him and the boy on the ground. When it leaves his spot on her back, it feels cold. But she pushes that out of her mind because her friend is on the ground after riding a bull and she's not quite sure if he's even breathing or not.

He figures her out pretty quickly in the days that follow. He watches with concerned gazes as she pushes her feelings down like Maya has done and he observes as she swallows her desires for her friend. When he tries to tell Zay, she covers his mouth and drags him out of Topanga's and he marks this as the first time he didn't want Riley to touch him.

He's about to scold her, to tell her that whatever action that just was, it wasn't cool. But he sees the cracks first. He sees the dull gold of her interior shine through as she tries to compose herself and tell him to stop prying into her business. He sees her heart split as she cries trying to convince herself that she's not in love with Lucas.

She pulls him into a hug, just like she's done hundreds of times before. But he's taller now, and she's breaking in a way that he's sure he's never seen. She nestles herself into his chest and he almost crumbles at her trembles. she sniffles and hugs tighter. And he struggles to not kiss her forehead or wipe away the tears with the pads of his thumb.

All this time, he's tried to convince himself that he loves Maya and Riley the same. But she stands here in front of him and he doesn't even think of Maya, even though he's trying to.

"I love you, Farkle," she tells him, a crack in her voice appearing as she does, the usual melody that goes with it, falling short, falling flat.

"And I love you," he smiles, his mouth never reaching his eyes, his heart never missing a beat.

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _vi_**. It's winter when they touch again.

The five friends are in the part together and she's in a tree and he's on the ground. Perched in branches watching protectively over her friends as they throw snowballs at each other and make snow angels in the bitter air. She laughs as she watches Maya tackle Lucas and Zay and Farkle join them creating a dog pile. With her phone, she stumbles a bit in the process, she takes a picture, reminding herself to print this out for each of them.

She's saving the picture when he finally finds her. He's realized she had been gone for a while now. When you're a senior in high school, you don't really remember what's going on. Your head is full with college applications and tests and SATs and ACTs and so many other things. That sometimes people fall to the wayside. He spots her in a tree, perched on the lowest branch but still high enough up that he can't reach her.

She spots him and smiles, her teeth matching the color of snow. They think of first grade, of that first day they met and they're smiles falter at the thought that college will separate them.

He looks back at the three friends and without a word, rushes to climb the tree she's in. He scrambles to the top, a flail of fast limbs to meet her. The girl on the playground who flew through the air as he watched and only wanted to be the one to catch her.

"Minkus," she smiled, biting her lip so it wouldn't grow to wide.

"Matthews," he greeted in return, sitting next to her so that every point of contact on their sides touched.

She turned to him, her brown hair now short. She had cut it in junior year after a particularly rough time. He was the first one to tell her he loved it, she believed him.

He turned to face her and watched as she held her hand up, her palm facing him. She stretched her fingers so that there were spaces in between and waited for Farkle to fill them.

He met her fingers, aligning them with hers so that the spaces matched. His hands were bigger, more calloused, colder. They covered the tips of her fingers from his side so he could only see his hand, so he shifted. Moved his palm just a few degrees to the right so that he could see hers and together they closed so that their fingers were intertwined.

Riley looked at Farkle and smiled, trying to contain whatever bubbling feelings she was feeling. She looked down quickly, knowing that if she looked into his eyes for two long, she would without a doubt be a goner. He did the same.

They sat like that in the tree, watching their friends, holding their hands and not letting go. Because they knew if they did, that it might be their last time. So they refused to move, and Riley shifted so that she could lean her head in the crook of Farkle's neck.

She let out a sigh of relief when she found, she still fit like she had in fourth grade. Her curves still managed to complete his, and whatever he lacked, she supported.

He turned her head so that he could kiss hers and they sat there soaking in the moment because she knew there were moments that she would remember forever. And Riley Matthews knew, this was one of them.

 **.**

 **.**

 ** _v._** It had been four years. Despite having perfect timing for eleven years of their life, Riley and Farkle couldn't manage to perfect their timing when it mattered most.

They had always just missed each other. Their schedules too hectic and busy to accommodate the other no matter how much they tried. They weren't dating, but they weren't just friends. They were in a place of limbo. An area of confusion. One that they had been in for years.

It was fall when they kissed. In a way, Riley found it ironic. All throughout her life she had been told that fall had been the season of decay. It had been the season of loss and death and yet, here they were, Riley and Farkle, a light of hope and eternity that fall had never seen before.

She was flying to NYC from London. A year after graduating college to be spent in England, something she had been planning since she was accepted. She loved it there. She immersed herself in the culture and got a job at a prestigious magazine and she fell in love with a place that still managed to be second to NYC.

The plane was cramped at best. The people were rude at best. But she kept her window open, even when people told her to shut it. It was night, it didn't matter. The stars helped her sleep. She would look at them, and trace them with her fingers and know that Farkle was looking at them too. She could look at the North Star and know that maybe if she followed it, it would lead her home. It would lead her to him.

She fell asleep with her head against the window, facing upwards towards the sky, something she would pay in a hurt neck later, but something that told everyone who she was. Riley was a wanderer, a dreamer, and she didn't care who knew that.

When the plane landed, her neighbor woke her up. It was a gentle shake, a weird startle after him being so curt with her the night before. But the man smiled at her and he there was a twinkle in his eye that made the young twenty-two year old confused.

The old man and her went in separate directions after getting their bags but she remembered him years later. For some reason, the man made her feel like she was home. Like she might've been gone, but that didn't change how NYC felt about her. It was a long shot, it was a story that Maya would tell her, didn't make sense. That didn't stop Riley.

She walked through the airport her combat boots clicking on the floor her orange suitcase in tow. She searched the crowds for her family. She searched the crowds for him.

His eyes lit up as he saw her. His heart beated faster and harder and with more passion that he had ever felt because this girl, the girl from first grade with the matching dress had been his rock and his muse and everything in between.

When she spotted him, she froze. She tensed, but so did he. She let her suitcase drop to the floor with a thump. And she ran to him faster than she had ever ran before because this was Farkle, and she was willing to run faster than Usain Bolt if she had to.

They met in the middle, like they had always had done. They couldn't speak, they were out of breath. But they held hands to show what they wanted to say, that they missed each other. That they loved each other. And not just in a friend's way, but in a I-can't-breathe-unless-you're-right-next-to-me way.

When they finally caught their breath, they used their first even breath on each other. Pulling the other towards them with shaky hands and beating hearts. When she kissed him, she saw stars. She saw him over and over and over again. And she saw stars guiding her to him.

He wrapped her up in his arms and cupped her head and her waist, pulling her closer than he ever had before, and trying desperately to get her closer, even though he couldn't have possibly been able to. They moved in harmony. Not the same but complimenting each other like a perfect chord on a piano.

She reveled in his taste, in his feel, in his touch. They still fit.

When they parted he leaned down to touch his forehead to hers and together they couldn't care less about the spectacle they put on. Because it was theirs. They saw stars and fireworks and lightning and fire, and they felt whole. For once in their life, as they circled around each other, Riley and Farkle met, for the first time, for the last time, for forever. Riley and Farkle touched, and it was like seeing stars.


	7. I'll Find My Way Back (Wait for Me)

**Title: I'll Find My Way Back to You (Wait For Me)**

 **Summary: She shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be trying to ruin a soon-to-be marriage. But somehow, she is.**

The night is humid and the air is warm and Riley Matthews thinks she can't fall in love with this city anymore than she already has. Her apartment is quiet, the only sounds being the whirring of the small fan that she has perched on the top of her coffee table. It's a kind of peaceful that she has grown accustomed to in the last year.

She leans back in her chair, letting her head fall backwards to stare at the ceiling, it's been a long night. She loves her job, being an editor at a publishing company is more fun than she ever expected it to be, but some manuscripts, like the one she currently is holding in her hands, are tough to get through. She's barely a quarter of the way done and she already wants to throw it over the railings on her porch. _Not_ a good sign.

Instead, she decides to stretch her legs a bit, ambling her way to the fridge and pulling out a cream soda. The cool feel of the bottle makes her hum in content as it reaches the hot and clammy palms of her hands. In a split second decision, she decides to take a break, grabbing her phone and the soda and making her way into the hotter nighttime air. She can't complain, fresh air has a nicer, more forgiving smell than pen ink.

She realizes it's pretty late as she clicks on her phone. The screen is bright and blaring but she only winces slightly. The screen displays the time: 11:37 and she yawns instinctively. Laying the phone on her iron table she closes her eyes to rest.

Then the phone rings. Buzzing loud and fast against the metal table and relentlessly pulsing without warning. She jumps at the sound and clammers for her phone, her foot hitting the ground hard and causing splints of pain to climb up her leg. She bites her lip and looks at the number on her phone.

She can tell from the familiar area code that it's someone from New York City, specifically around where she lives, but there's no contact name to go with the number and while the last four digits look familiar, she can't place them at the moment. She answers anyway.

What follows is a flurry of words racing out against Riley's ears at a mile a minute. She barely comprehends any of them but she can tell from the pitch of the person's voice that it's a woman.

"I'm sorry," Riley interrupts, "I didn't catch any of that."

The woman at the other end of the line sighs a sigh of disapproval, or disappointment, Riley can't decide which. Riley imagines the woman brushing her hair behind her ear and rolling her eyes before answering.

"Riley, hi," the lady greets, "It's Jennifer Bassett-Minkus from Minkus International."

The brunette's eyes widen. This was a first. "Hi, Mrs.—"

"Jen, call me Jen, please."

There's a strange tone of helplessness and desperation that pulls at Riley's heart gently. She furrows her brows in concern. "Jen," she corrects, "You know you don't have to introduce yourself from the company. I remember you."

The lady is silent and Riley pictures her nodding fervently, "I know, I'm just— Oh gosh it's late, I didn't realize it was so late. Are you alright with taking this call? If not I can call you back tomorrow or—"

The panicked tone makes Riley nervous and she waves her hands in the air even though she knows the woman can't see her, "It's fine, Jen. I was working anyway." The casualty of her name feels odd on Riley's tongue and she can't help but feel uncomfortable every time she says it.

"Great, um," she pauses and there's mumbling that Riley can't decipher. "Sorry, I was just writing something down. Um, this is about Farkle."

There's a part of Riley that instantly moves her thumb to hang up the phone. She hadn't talked to boy in years. She had never meant to lose touch, it just happened. And the last time she was with him, well, they kissed while she was still dating her ex-boyfriend. She didn't exactly like to relive her infidelities.

Still, she couldn't hide the nervous tone in her voice, "Is he okay?"

"Yes, no, I— Look," the lady stutters, "He's getting married."

That's new.

"To this really nice girl and she's great. She's rich and smart and really _nice_."

"Send him my congrats," Riley tells the older woman and she grimaces at the tone that comes out, bitter and on edge.

"Here's the thing. Farkle's not Farkle anymore. He's changed and I think it's because of her." Riley waits for the woman to continue and tries not to blurt out something mean. "He's not happy, Riley, and I don't think he should go through with the wedding. His father doesn't think so either."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Minkus, I don't think I can help you," Riley apologizes and she attempts to weasel her way out of the conversation and hang up.

"But you can! The wedding's in a week."

"I'll send him a toaster," she argues weakly.

"I need you to talk him out of it."

"No, Mrs. Minkus—"

"Jen," the woman corrects.

"Jen, I don't think it's my place. We were friends, we _are_ friends but I just— I don't think it's fair of me to break off a wedding. One I wasn't even told about until now." Riley tells her, she thinks she might be pleading at this point but she's not sure anymore.

"Please," the woman begs. "At least come for a few days and tell me I'm wrong. I need to hear it from someone else besides him. I need you to tell me he's happy."

Riley can feel herself relenting, and she hates it.

"I have a conference to go to in two days," she tells the older woman and she can hear the hope in the woman spark. "I can visit for a day but then I need to fly out to the conference. It's in Seattle."

"That's all the time we need," the woman smiles. "Thank you, Ms. Matthews."

The line clicks and radio silence is left in the place of talking. Without thinking, she clenches her fist until her knuckles turn red and only then does she let what happened sink in. He's getting married.

* * *

"Maya, get off my suitcase."

The blonde shakes her head violently, sprawling across the sturdy fabric filled with business clothes and casual wear. "This isn't a good idea, Riley, and you know it."

Riley walks over quickly, pushing Maya off of her purple suitcase and putting the rest of her toiletries in the pockets. "It's Farkle, Maya. I'm not just going to hang him out there to dry. He's our friend."

"You haven't seen him for years, and neither have I! He's long past being our friend, don't you think?" Maya questions, reluctantly deciding not to jump on the unoccupied suitcase again.

" _We_ have known him our entire lives," Riley lectures, stuffing a few books and manuscripts into her satchel. "We owe it to him to help him out, even if he doesn't even need it. We owe it to him to try." She zipped her bag up and starts to walk to the front of her apartment with her suitcase in tow.

Maya runs in front of her, laying a hand on both her shoulders to stop her, "He didn't even tell us he was in a serious relationship, okay? Much less tell us that he's getting married. Doesn't that signal a couple red flags in your mind?"

"Maya, move."

"He didn't send you an invitation," Maya continues, ignoring Riley's command, "He didn't bother telling us anything worthwhile. Instead, he ignored us, ignored _you._ This isn't your place."

"He needs our help," Riley demands, trying harder to push past the small girl.

"No, he needs to get married and have eleven baby Minkii and he needs you to stay out of it."

"He's not happy, Maya. His mom said so!"

Maya scoffs and lets go of Riley, who stands there annoyed, listening intently to what her best friend had to say. "Yes, _his mom_ said so. But in all our years of knowing him how much time has she ever spent with her own son. He's happy and content, for all she knows."

Sighing, Riley dropped her suitcase and turned to the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards for a glass so she could drink something. Maya waited patiently for a response, hopeful that maybe this time she had gotten through to her stubborn best friend enough to convince her that this was possible the worst idea that Riley could've had.

"Everything will be fine, okay," Riley assured her, "Nothing bad is going to happen."

Maya raised an eyebrow and looked at her skeptically, "Look, I know I'm not the one that his mom begged desperately to come back to the city to evaluate her kid, you know, that was you. But, I know a bad plan when I see one. I've been involved in many bad plans and this is— _this_ is a bad plan. You cannot do this."

Riley paused for a moment and stared at her best friend who looked desperately at her. "Maya, this is Farkle we're talking about here," she argued. "If he changed then—"

Maya threw her hands up in the air frustrated and upset. "Everyone changes Riley!" she yelled. "It's not concerning or weird!" She took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair. With a quieter voice she looked away, "People change. It's a part of life, you know that. And if he's not happy, then that's his problem," she grabbed one of Riley's hands, "not yours."

"I know," Riley muttered quietly. "But Maya we don't give up on people. I don't give up on you. I won't give up on him. I don't give up on anyone. And _you_ know _that_ ," she demanded.

"It's simple," Maya said, "You just don't do it."

"Maya, you're not listening to me—"

"I am. And if you don't go, then he gets to have a wife and children, without any controversy brought up."

"Maya, all I have to do is talk to him for a couple hours and then I just go back to his mom and tell her that she was wrong. That he's fine and he's happy, with his fiancee. Then I can leave and go to my conference in Seattle and come home and never think about it again. That's all. He'll be happy with his eleven babies and I'll be living it up with my editing and publishing." There's a pause and Riley takes a deep breath. "And everything will be fine. It's not complicated."

"Are you telling me this? Or are you telling yourself?" Maya asks. She sits on the couch and Riley follows, tucking her feet under her. "Riley, when have you and Farkle ever done something easy in the past ten years. You haven't seen him since you decided to have a one night stand with him while you were still together with someone else."

There's no response.

Instead, Riley stands up and with her suitcase in tow walks towards the front of the apartment to the door. "I'm going," she says, a little softer than usual. "I'll see you after I come back from Seattle."

* * *

She's hit with a sense of familiarity as soon as her feet hit the pavement in front of her house. It's a weird sort of home now. Like a place that she remembers in a dream, a place where she's safe, but not comfortable. But the street names and the buildings spark fond memories in her mind, and she ambles her way up the stairs with her suitcase and unlocks the door to the building with her old zebra striped key she got when she was nine.

Her parents are ecstatic to see her, and they go on and on about the wedding and how it's going to be lovely and how Connie, Farkle's fiancee, has planned it all. But underneath the excitement, Riley notes, there's worried glances. As if they know why she's really here. As if they know what Farkle's mom already told her: that he's changed for the worse.

Either way she makes her way around the city with them, visiting their old spots and heading out to an old favorite restaurant for dinner. And when they finish the day, Riley slips out the front door as if she was seventeen again, and walks to the part of Washington Square Park that she and Maya had found when they were little.

She's sitting there editing the boring manuscript that she was working on when Mrs. Minkus called when she hears the crinkle of leaves behind her.

Even if she can't see his face, the street lamps behind him show his lanky, figure and his voice gives himself away almost instantly.

"I guess the rumours of you being back were true." he says, and she stiffens at his voice, her fingers bouncing up and down nervously.

She notices the way the syllables fall off his mouth. Quietly amused, as if he can't show how he really feels. His voice is quiet, too, not loud and demanding like it used to be when they were younger a few years back.

"Ah, well," she smiles sheepishly as she looks more directly toward him, "You can't always trust rumours. For all you know I could be a hologram."

He smirks in the darkness and makes his way over to where she sits on the bench, close enough so that her leg presses up against his. He pokes her shoulder but doesn't smile, "Damn good hologram you are."

She lets out an easy laugh and immediately relaxes. "Hi, Farkle," she greets.

"Hey, Riles."

"How'd you know I'd be here?" she asks him, folding her laptop slowly and tucking it into her messenger bag that was laying on the grass.

"I didn't," he shrugs. "I came here and there you were."

There's no details like she expected. There's only simple facts, no big words or expressive language. Just the simplest of sentences to deliver information. And she starts to worry.

"Well, why'd you come here?" she probes, trying to weasel out some information.

He shrugs again, "Reasons."

She notes that it's not even the problem of he's mad at her and deliberately not telling her things. It sounds like he's just answering normally, like there's nothing else anyone wants to hear. Like he's been programmed to answer with nothing.

A silence falls over the both of them and Riley nods awkwardly, looking at the trees and the flowers that surround the trunks of them.

"So what've you been up to?" she finally asks.

He shrugs once more, and God, Riley is really starting to hate the shrugging, "Well, I'm working so that's been taking up most of my time."

"Oh," she says, "Well, where have you been working?"

"Uh, Minkus International, actually," he says, his voice dipping into an awkward tone, as if he hadn't wanted to admit that part of his life to her.

"Wait you're working for—"

"My dad?" he supplies, and she nods helplessly confused. "Yeah, I am."

"But you hate the idea of working for your dad. You want your own company, you've always have. What happened to that?" she waves her hands around for emphasis but there's barely a smile on his face. There's no hint of emotion anywhere.

"Still there," he plays with his hands leaning forward so that his elbows rest on his knees and his head rests on his hands.

She's still turned towards him though, but he's now focused on the forest in front of him. "Then why give it up for the time being when you could be out there, happy?"

"Connie wants a big wedding and I needed a job. It was convenient."

She scoffs and he turns to her then, as if he was surprised but just trying not to show it. "When have you ever done something because it's," she raises her hands to do air quotes, "convenient."

He purses his lips together and shrugs again, "It's not a big deal, Riley." There's still no sense of feelings in him to her. Not even annoyance.

"It's your life, Farkle, it is a big deal. How are you not upset?"

He turns to face and stares right into her eyes, "Because Connie's happy, and she wants a big wedding, and this is how I'm giving it to her."

"You've said that already," Riley points out, her teeth gritting as she does so. "Do you even want a big wedding?"

"Connie does," he supplies.

"That's not what I asked."

He doesn't respond for a while, but she doesn't say anything either. She wants him to do something. To reveal something more than the fact that he's working a dead end job at his father's company when he could be off curing cancer with the wonderful brain he has. She wants him to yell and roll his eyes. But there's nothing. There's not even a smile.

"Do you want a big wedding?" she repeats.

He shrugs.

"Stop that!" Riley yells, shaking her hands violently in front of her. "Stop shrugging as if it's a valid answer you know it's not. Not for me. We don't lie to each other, Farkle."

He doesn't even flinch when she raises her voice, "I'm not lying to you."

"Well, you're not exactly answering my questions either!" she laughs with disbelief, shaking her head and giving an annoyed smile. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," he states, his voice even and calm.

"So what? You're willingly sitting in a stupid office on a stupid floor in your father's stupid building like one of those idiotic dummies? You've never once wanted to become your father's lackey and here you are, doing all his errands and being his little maid. Right? That's what you're doing?"

He doesn't say a word.

"You're acting like you have half the IQ that you have. You're mooching off of your father's successes and I want to know where the person who wanted to fight for himself went. You know, the person who had their own brain? The biggest and smartest brain I have ever seen. Where did he go?"

He eyes her but doesn't respond.

"Do you want a big wedding?" she asks again, emphasizing each word as if that will get through to him. She doesn't even know why she's focused on this question. But she is.

"No! Okay? No! I don't!" he yells all of a sudden, and Riley jumps a bit as his yells echo off every tree and object around them. There's a deep breath and his normal, monotone voice is back, "but Connie does."

"What happened to you?" she asks, this time her voice quiet and defeated. For a moment, a look of anguish passes his face, but he looks away before Riley has a chance to fully notice it. "You wouldn't have let me get away with half the things I'm saying right now."

"Look, I love Connie."

"I know you do," she says.

"I love her."

"Farkle, I know you just—"

"I love her, Riley."

She doesn't say anything after that. But neither does he. They both just sit their quietly and stare off in their own worlds trying to figure out how they ended up here.

"I love her," he repeats again, sighing as he did so.

"You turned into one of those people we made fun of, Farkle. The people who kisses your father's ass to get ahead," Riley says.

"I do important things," he argues, weakly.

"Like what?" she asks but she finds herself not really wanting to know the answer.

"I— I—" he stutters, racking his brain for something that might redeem him.

She lays a hand on top of his knuckles, which were gripping the bench so that they turned white, "It's okay."

"I love Connie, Riley. I do."

"I know."

"But she— she wants me to be more quiet. You know? She has really rich, stuck-up parents and she wants me to be more classy and reserved. Stay in a stable, one room job for the rest of my life like her father does. She wants me to stop making weird noises or showing her up with my own knowledge. So I stick to the facts, the bones of whatever she's talking about."

"Farkle, you're one of the brightest people I've ever met."

He looks at her, and for once she sees sadness and disappointment laced throughout his face. "I took the job because I love her. I love Connie."

She feels a small splash on her hand and she looks over to find him crying a bit. Not large dripping tears but small regretful ones. "Maybe you should take a break from her."

"I can't," Farkle responds almost immediately. "We have the wedding in a week, everything's paid for. I can't. I can't do this to her."

She squeezes his hand gently, "You've already done so much for her, maybe just take a little to do something for yourself. I mean, still marry her. You love her and all. Just postpone it. Like a week or something."

"I can't," he repeats, closing his eyes.

Slowly, she releases his hand and stands up, draping her bag over her shoulder. "Look, I have to go. I have a flight at eight tomorrow morning. It's a conference in Seattle, should be done before your wedding," she says, "so if you want to come along. I'll be at the airport by 6:30."

There's no sound from him, no movement, besides the deep breaths of confusion he breathes out.

* * *

She's standing in the baggage check-in line when she sees him. Dark brown hair and a tall lanky body running towards her with a duffle in his hands. He spots her almost immediately and runs towards her. Smiling unsure.

"You're sure?" she asks, eyeing his bag, overflowing with clothes that he most likely stuffed in there the last second.

"Nope," he says, but he nods when she looks at him again. "But I have my own hypothesis to test."

A smile grows on her face and she looks at him for a few more seconds biting her lip.

"Ma'am," the lady at the check-in calls. Riley smiles apologetically and rushes over.

When she looks back, Farkle is still standing there, frozen in place.

"You coming?" she asks and he jerks towards her.

"Yeah," he says, as if he's trying to psych himself up. "Let's do this."

 **HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

He's not really sure when he had started to morph back into himself. Maybe it was when Riley woke up early and sprayed shaving cream in his face in order to wake him up. Or maybe it was the night they spent walking around Seattle together, but he starts to feel better. Like he can think for himself and say what he wants to.

She's not sure which days are the ones that make her feel most alive. Maybe it's the ones that they find themselves face to face talking as if it's high school again, casually and simply, as if nothing had changed. Maybe it's the days that she looks at him and feels her heart stir because Maya was right, nothing with Farkle is ever really easy like she had hoped. But she feels happy.

When the conference is over and they're on the plane watching passengers load their carry-ons in the shelves she tells him that he'll get to see Connie soon. And she asks him if he's excited. But he doesn't respond. And he doesn't say a word until they get to the baggage claim and he hands her her purple suitcase with the musical buttons and stickers.

"Thank you," he tells her.

He takes off before she does, turning right as she turns left. And nothing feels as complicated as her heart feels right now.

* * *

She doesn't expect him to be asleep leaned up against his door when she comes home from her proposal pitch of the manuscript she was working on two months later. She expected Maya draped on her couch, eating her chips and watching America's Got Talent on the TV. But she didn't expect Farkle and his tired eyes asleep in front of her apartment.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, her hair falling in her face as she walks towards him.

"Maya refused to let me in. I didn't mean to fall asleep, I'm sorry."

"I meant— your wedding, what hap—"

"Got cancelled," he shrugs and she narrows her eyes as he does so. "Really bad weather." He uses his finger and swirls it around in the air, "Thunderstorms."

"I—"

"Hey," he interrupts, completely ignoring Riley's shocked face. "Do you think I could stay with you for a while?

She nods and grabs his neck, pulling him down to kiss her. And this time, she was sure it wasn't going to be a one night stand.'

 **This was mostly based off of a Gilmore Girls fic I read a while back so sorry for the similarities.**


End file.
